Say Okay (ON HOLD)

Chapter 19

Harry’s pov

Once I closed the door I was so angry. I mean what was that about?

I took Trevor home before going to Louis house. Once I got home with Trevor Amber had a go at me for taking so long. When I told her that I was to Louis’s she accused me of cheating on her. again. Really?I’ve had enough of this.

As I was making my way to his house I was thinking about how thankful I am for having him as my bestfriend. I knew could help me figure this all out. Once I arrived I made my way up to his door before knocking on his door.

"Harry come in."Louis said once he opened the door. I nodded before walking inside. i made my way over towards his couch before sitting down.

Louis brought over two glasses of soda setting them down on the coffee table, which was located in front of his couch where I was seated. We sat down in silence for a while before I said “Why did she have to do that to me?”

"Do what Harry ?"

"Laugh along with him, smiling at him, laughing at his jokes that were terrible. Making me feel like I didn’t matter. "

"Who are you taking about?" Louis asked before taking a sip of his soda.

"Esmea." I said simply. I looked up to see Louis shaking his head in disappointment .

"You don’t matter to her anymore you screwed up. "

"That doesn’t mean that she has to shut me out. "

"Yes it does ,you haven’t been in contact with her in what five years and now your acting like a jealous boyfriend. " he said.

"And that’s a bad thing because? " I asked before taking a sip of my own drink.

"You have a wife and a child that you love and care about."

"Amber? Are you serious she’s a witch. A lying deceiving woman that only thinks of herself. " I said before resting my head on the headrest of his couch.

"And your just as bad as her. Listen to yourself right now. " Louis said.

"What’s that supposed to mean. I replied getting angry.

"It means that your only thinking of yourself right now. Your not caring about what could happen to Trevor if you let these tiny feelings for Esmea grow. You could end your relationship with Amber."

"That would be excellent then I wouldn’t have to deal with her or have to listen to her when she accuses me of cheating when she’s done it to me twice. " I said . " Louis she even accused me of cheating when I told her I was coming over here to visit you."

"Harry Trevor would no longer have a mum around . Plus Amber is afraid of losing you."

"He barley sees her anyway so he would loose much." I said simply. It’s true she’s never around. I looked over towards Louis to see him thinking. I knew that would make him think. He and I both knew what I said was true.

"Even so remember when your parents got divorced? Do you remember what you felt like? How devastated you were? Remember crying those nights wishing that things were different?" He has to bring that up didn’t he? Of course he did.

"Yes I do but it’s different. " I said trying to defend myself.

"Do you remember when you blamed yourself for the divorce. Just think, maybe Trevor will think that it’s his fault? "

"He won’t think that."I said. I could feel my blood boil, my hand started to clench fists.

"Harry just stop. You won’t end things with Amber. Plus you and I both know that you and Esmea will never get back together. "

"Why not. Why can’t me and Esmea go back to the way we were before I screwed everything up?"I asked.

"Because of what you did. You hurt her so bad Harry."

"The thing is Lou is that I don’t even know what I did to hurt her so badly."

"It’s not just what you did is what you did after you and her broke up?"

"Louis what was I supposed to do she said she didn’t want anything to do with me so I did what I thought was best."

"Hanging out with different girls each week. Harry she was crushed."

"Lou what was I supposed to do. I mean didn’t know what else to do?"

"Talk to her apologise."

"Don’t you think I tired."

"Not hard enough obviously." He said mumbling underneath his breath, but loud enough for me to hear.

"Besides I don’t even know what I was apologising for I don’t even know why we broke up. I still don’t know because she won’t tell me and neither will you or the rest of the boys." I snapped.

"That’s because it’s not my place to say the same with the rest of the boys. It’s up to Esmea to tell her when she wants to. If she even wants to."

"Was it really that bad?" I asked.

"Bad’s an understatement."

"Harry is that you?" I heard a woman’s voice.

"Hey El it’s me." I said standing up before walking over to Eleanor giving her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"What bring you over here? Not that I’m complaining."she said before walking over towards Lou. Louis pulled El on his lap before giving her a kiss on the cheek, making her blush.

"I just needed to get out of the house." I replied.

"How’s Trevor?" She asked.

"He’s good. It was his first day of school today. He was nervous but you know what five year old wouldn’t be."

"Oh that’s easy. Esmea’s daughter Darcy was over the moon about goings to school when I bumped into her and Esmea in the shops just the other day."

"You saw her and you didn’t tell me?"

"I didn’t think you would care since you haven’t see her in what five years?" She asked Turing to Louis when she said five years.louis just nodded gesturing to El that it had been five years since the last time I
Saw her.

"It’s okay I saw her quite a bit today."

"Oh so that’s why your over here."El said nodding her head.

"Pardon?"

"I knew that you would eventually bump into each other once Trevor and Darcy started school."

"Right."

"You still have feelings for her don’t you?" El asked.

"Is it that obvious."

"We’ll yeah. Harry she was your first serious relationship. I know that you two end on good terms from what she and Lou had told me."

"Does everyone know what happened except for me?" I asked slumping back down into the couch. I mean how can I not know anything?

"Well yeah. Look harry you need to keep your distance from her. I know for a fact it will be just as hard for her seeing you after all this time.

"Well that’s going to be hard." I replied.

"Whys that?" El and Louis both asked at the same time.

"Because Trevor and Darcy have seemed to have become very close friends very quickly." I said smiling slightly .

"Oh god." Louis said covering his eyes with his hands.El just laughed.

"What?" I asked.

"Seems like life’s going to repeat itself."Louis said.