"I Didn't See This"

Just Leave...

   It's been weeks  since the 'incident'. The Crystal Gems had never been quite the same, experiencing short bouts of P.T.S.D. It was really hard for Steven especially watching his friends suffer knowing that no amount of healing spit can heal them. 

  The Diamonds tried to help though it was evident there was nothing they could do. In the end they just covered it up. Connie occasionally visited to give support and check on him but it was sparse and in between. Soon she only video chatted. Sadie barely came as she started touring with the Suspects. Greg was just well Greg; assisting and supporting him when he could. Other than that he was alone, utterly alone.  

   "I'm going out for awhile. Lock the door and don't open it for anyone, k' kiddo?" the grey haired father called out to his son, who was sprawled out on the couch. He blinked once then nodded. Greg smiled before closing the door behind him. Steven sighed and pulled the blanket closer to his body. Black-ish bags under his eyes made him age 25 years. His nose was red from a nasty cold he got, (can Steven get sick🤔) his eyes were red from stress and constant crying. He sniffed. The rain had begun to fall making the place all the more gloomy. Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst were asleep which was good. The screen was just flashing colorful lights to him. He wasn't at all concentrating on the tv show. He was just thinking. Why does he have to suffer? Why does his friends have to suffer? He's Rose Quartz's son. Everyone's looking up to him. Now his friends are shaken and he can't do anything to help them but comfort and give them cookie cats. He gritted his teeth. Does no one care? Everyone has just left. Connie's in space, Sadie is a rock icon, Bismuth and the others are building Little Homeworld and he doesn't want to burden them with more of his problems and his dad, well, is great as always. He swallowed. Hard. A burden. That's all he was, a burden. Connie and the others left because they knew he would want their help. He's just a burden to them. The salty tears stung at the corner of his eyes. He choked back a sob. No....he couldn't cry, he won't cry. Not now. He'll just wake the Gems, forcing them to cuddle him and reassure him that everything's okay when it's not. He doesn't want to bother them, to add another load to their already heavy shoulders. He's fine. Let them sleep. He sniffed again more violently then before. The show had long time ended. He reached for the remote and shut off the television. He's had enough. The rain pouring in torrents, lightning flashed and thunder rolled. He frowned. Hopefully the storm doesn't trigger a PTSD episode in either of the Gems because right now he just can't.

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  Suddenly he heard a faint knock. He groaned and rolled over hoping the knocking will cease. Unfortunately, it didn't. He lazily opened his sleepy eyes. The room was fuzzy at first but soon came into focus. It was upside down. What? He rubbed his eyes. Yep the room was upside down. He sighed when it hit him: he fell off the couch. "Alright I'm coming dad" he groaned attempting to control the croaking in his voice. He lazily undid the lock on the door then swung it open. The lightning flash at that moment revealing a tall figure in a raincoat. He had a bag in his right hand, his left was in his pocket. Suddenly the figure pulled down his hoodie. "Hey Steven." The boy blinked. "Lars" he whispered. The lightning flashed again revealing his signature pink hair and skin. Steven stepped aside allowing Lars to pass before closing the door. The silence of the house was deafening was well as eerily peaceful. Lars slipped off his raincoat, hanging it up. He stretched slightly and looked around. The place had a slight emo vibe and a little bit unkempt. "What me to get you something?" a voice asked. Lars turned to face the boy. "Uh no." he replied. The gem hybrid smiled. "What brings you here?" Steven asked. Lars cleared his throat before speaking. "Well it's been a-uh-while since you last came to the Big Donut so I thought I'd come and check on ya." "Also I brought these." he added reaching down and withdrawing a box from the bag. "I hope you like the flavors." he smiled. Steven stared at his surprising gesture. His mind raced as he tried to comprehend. Lars was helping him? He hadn't talked to him in a LONG while since the Homeworld incident and of all the people in Beach City LARS was the one to offer his help? Lars?!?!? The teenager didn't know whether to laugh or cry or dismiss his gesture. Then his anger rose.

   In one quick movement he knocked the box out of the Latino's hand. The colorful treats lay scattered on the floor. The older teen stood there shocked and a bit hurt? "What the-" "I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY!" he screamed his gem glowing pink for a second. "Steven...?" he asked a bit worried. "WHY DON'T YOU GO AND LEAVE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE HAS DONE?? WHY DON'T YOU GO AND CONTINUE SELLING DONUTS LIKE THE GOOD LITTLE HUMAN YOU ARE? WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE!" he stopped his face red with anger and his eyes flashing. The pink boy didn't know what to say, however he had a feeling that Steven wasn't done yet.

   "Just...go. I'll be a burden to you, please..." he pleaded his eyes suddenly become glossy. He looked away the salt stinging his eyes again. He fell to his knees succumbing to his feelings. The tears flowed freely now. He just wanted to curl into a ball and disappear from existence. No one would care. Then he felt someone wrap their arms around him. "Go away Amethyst." he croaked. "I'm not Amethyst." his eyes widened at his mistake. Just as quickly the arms withdrew. "I-I'm sorry. Did it feel weird?" he said nervously. The hybrid didn't bother to face him. Lars just did that? He rubbed his temples. Nothing's making sense. Maybe that's how he comforts Sadie? "No...It's okay." he muttered. Pause. "Really?" "Yes." He felt him scoot close. He slid his arms across Steven's stomach then leaned in. The poor hybrid held his breath. His heart was beating at a million miles a minute. He didn't know what was happening and if he said he wasn't nervous he'd be lying. 

   "Can you uh try to relax? You're too tense." the resurrected human whispered. He didn't realize how tense he was until he relaxed. Lars' chest was warm against his back. His arms made him feel secure warding off invisible threats. The pink human's breath tickled his neck. He sighed. It was good, it felt...good.

     "Steven?" "Mm?" "What did you mean you being a 'burden'?" the teen slumped, his bliss evaporating. Though he knew it wasn't meant to last. "It's the Crystal Gems" he muttered. "...Are they making you feel like trash?" his reply made him flinch. "No, it's just I *sigh* everyone has somewhat forgotten me. Garnet and the others aren't the same anymore. They're broken and I can't fix them. I feel alone. But then you came..." he turned and locked eyes with the human. "Y-you brought me donuts and I hated them. I hated you. No one wants to be around me, not even my own father. I've been neglected and you're the only one who cared. Of all the residents of Beach City you came. We're not even on talking terms but you came. It struck a wrong cord and I-I snapped. I don't want to heap my burdens on you, I didn't want the others to think I can't, that I'm the same weak 13 year old that everyone hates." he dropped his gaze to the floor, waiting for to something along the lines of "they're right". Instead his face is lifted to look straight into Lars' eyes again. He gulped unsure of what the teen wanted. "Steven I understand you're Rose Quartz's son but even leaders need help. I just came to see you and I'm glad I did." he grinned. The poor teen couldn't. His face began to get warm, his whole body felt warm. Lars' lips looked too tempting, just a little closer... "Steven you okay?" the space pirate asked. "Huh?!?" the boy blinked. "You were staring for too long. At my lips for too long." His face reddened even more. He looked away. "S-sorry!" he said hurriedly. Lars hummed in reply. "I'll bring more donuts tomorrow if you want." he added. "I'd like that." Steven replied. 

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PS: I know this chapter is crappy but please forgive meh!