The First Call

Fight for him

"It's my time to speak," Ava said as I finished the whole story. "And don't interrupt me, ok?"

I just nodded and she started talking.

"First of all, you have to explain to  yourself what has happened and who you actually like. It's really important to know to whom your feelings belong to. If you like AJ, tell him that you had a nice time with him, even though you don't know each other that long. And if you like Andrew, which I think we both know you do, explain him what happened between you and AJ." She made a small break. "You know, every day may not be good, but there is something good in every day. You know he likes you, and you guys are still friends. If he truly trusts you and cares for you, he must know this: we don't need to be with our friends all the time, we just need to know they are there for us no matter what. And I know that you are there for him. And I also know that you will go and talk to him and clear things up. You are his reason to smile. He should forgive you and give you a second chance. That's what you do if you care for someone. Again, we 100% know that he cares for you. In the end, you have to be your own hero, because everyone else is occupied by saving their selves." She took a deep breath. "I'm done."

I slightly smiled. "Wow, you really went deep into my heart." I sighed. "I'm just not sure that he will forgive me. Yes, I like him. Yes, he likes me. But I already hurt him, and he forgave me. So technically, this would be my third chance, not second." I lowered my voice. "I don't think he will make the same mistake. He shouldn't trust me."

Ava took my hand. "People come and go. But you definitely should not give up on Andrew. You two had that spark that was as light as stars, and stars can't shine without darkness. You are currently going through that darkness, and none of you have a lighter, but if you help each other, the spark will lighten up and show you the exit. And when you get out of that darkness, the spark will stay. It's on you two to constantly make sparks, meaning memories. With every new memory there will be a new star glowing in the darkness. And every time, there will be less darkness than stars." Ava smiled at me. "You like that, don't you. Everyone is happier when they see their path than not knowing if they'll fall within the next step they make."

I sighed. "My heart itches." I joked. "You really know what I need to hear, even if I don't want to."

"That's what friends are for, right?" She smiled gently.

"I just..." I looked at the floor. "I'm scared. I don't want to lose him." As I thought of it, a tear formed in my eye.

"Don't tell me that, tell him. Try to stay calm. Don't cry, ok? Be strong. Make him believe that everything you say is true. Of course, it should be. You have to believe in what you're saying more than he does."

"You're right. Will you stay here in case anything goes wrong?"

"Of course, my dear. I will always be there for you." Light from her smile brightened the room and my mood. "Hey, you'll survive. You have survived until now. Everything that has happened in the past. You will survive this as well. You will survive in the future too. You will. You will succeed. Not because you have to, but because you can." Then she let go off of my hand.

I stood up. Can't lie, I was nervous. One thing I knew is that Ava was right. I can. 

Only one hallway was in between Andrew and I. There is 1% chance that he didn't hear anything that Ava told me since our apartment wasn't so big.

I looked at Ava one last time before I made a move. She gave me a 'fight for him' look and smiled. Then I made my way to his room. Before I even knocked on the door, Andrew opened them.

"My biggest regret isn't falling for you, my biggest regret is thinking that I actually meant something to you." I was left speechless before I could say anything.

Fight for him, appeared in my head. "Please let me explain," I said doing my best to stay calm.

"Bob Marley once said: “If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy. Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you. You just gotta find the one worth suffering for.“"

"Wow." And therefore, I was left speechless again.

"Come in," Andrew said moving away from the doorway so I could go in.

"Thank you." I whispered.

I thought at that point it was awkward to just sit on his bed, so I decided to stand next to it.

"I'm just that dumbass who gets jealous even though we aren't together," Andrew said all of a sudden.

"Hey..." I started, but he interrupted me.

"We are living together and I don't want things to be weird and uncomfortable because we aren't talking." He looked at me, but didn't let me say anything. "Let's just clear things up and continue with our lives."

As I was about to say something, he stopped me again. "Please sit down, I feel like this is going to be a long conversation."

I did as he told me. "Look." I started and told him the truth behind the kiss with AJ.

"I might've overreacted. But you have to understand that I did because I truly like you," Andrew said as I finished.

"I know that. I... What I have with you, I don't want with anyone else. You have no idea how fast my heart beats when I see you. My favourite thing is when I look at you and you are already looking at me." I made a quick break. "I just don't want to end what we have now, when we, you know, aren't a thing."

"I understand that. If you're not ready, I respect that."

"It's not that I'm not ready. I just, this will probably hurt, it would hurt me, but, I don't want to be with you. I like how we are in between friendship and relationship. I feel like becoming a couple would change everything. These little games and fights we have now wouldn't be the same. I really like it how it is now."

"I see. I respect you're decisions. I respect you. Just know that I'll be waiting, ok? I'll be here whenever you need me." It felt so good seeing him smile again. "Let's not fight anymore, it's really hard being mad at you."

I smiled with a relief. All the pain disappeared just in that one second.

"It all comes down to the last person you think of at night. That's where your heart is." He whispered as he gave me a hug.

A hug. Something that can say everything words can't.