-Natasha's POV-
After the meeting with Fury, I climb down the stairs to the floor that Clint lives on. I try to forget about Steve for a little bit. I knock on Clint's door and he opens it almost immediately.
"Hey Nat," Clint begins
"Hey," I reply. He gestures his hand towards his room. I walk over to the couch and slump down on to it.
"Tell me whats wrong Nat," Clint says taking a seat across from me. I don't hesitate to tell him. Clint is a very trustworthy listener.
"Last night, I had a nightmare. Nothing unusal. But when I wake up the handcuffs are cutting me and I drop the key to them. Then Steve comes in," I begin to explain.
"When I wake up I'm tucked away in his arms. I just felt so safe," I continue. I see Clint's face. Almost as if he is reading my mind. Then he says,
"I know Nat, your not used to feeling like that."
"I felt something. Like I belonged right there in his arms," I describe.
"Nat, it's ok to feel like that. It's ok to want things. Even love," Clint empasizes the word love. I shudder at the word. Love is for children. The words repeat over and over again in my head like a broken record. This idea has been drilled into me since I was a kid. The idea has stayed with me ever since. As Clint notices me drift into thought. He pulls me into a big hug. I sigh in relief into his shoulder.
We spend the next hour or so discussing the mission I was assigned. I know it's classified but I trust him. We chat like we are still partners.
"Where did you say the mission was?" Clint asks.
"Russia," I reply
"Are you going to be ok going back there?" He questions. I just shrug. I haven't been back to Russia in eight years.
I'm being choked by another Widow in training. I flip her over and she lands hard on the floor. I get behind her and wrap my arms around neck.
"Do it Natalia," I hear. I snap the girls neck and she falls limp to the floor. I pick my 11 year old self up, and stand at attention. As if my actions were normal.
"Natasha. Natasha," Someone calls. I snap out of my flashback. Clint is shaking me awake.
"Sorry," I say realizing I had been staring at the wall.
"Are you ok?" Clint asks.
"Ya, I'm fine. I'm gonna go. Thank you," I say quickly getting up from the couch and walking over to the door.
"Be safe Natasha," Clint says loudly.
"No promises," I remark smartly. I see him roll his eyes as I shut the door behind me.
-Steve's POV-
When I enter my room, I hurry over to the counter and place the files down. I return to the couch and grab my sketchbook. I get lost in the soft pencil marks I make on the paper. My pencil flows smoothly over the paper. As time passes I find the sketch is of a girl. With a smile that could make any guy swoon. Eyes so vibrant they could light up the dark. Hair that falls smoothly around the girl's face. I stop for a moment and realize Natasha's face has filled my paper. I continue to capture her best features. Like how perfectlty slopped her nose is. Or how flawless her glowing skin is.
I decide to take a break and look over the mission file. My undercover name is Hunter Evans. Natsasha's is Meredith Johansson. I contine through the details. I don't want to mess this up. This is my first mission with Natasha. I cannot screw this up. My eyes grow weary so I close the file. Beneath lies the life of Natasha Romanoff. I don't dare to open it. Her words linger in my head. I don't see how I can see her as a bad person. Or less human. Besides I would never go through anyones life without asking permission. While I'm walking over to the fridge. I hear a faint knock on the door, behind it I find Natasha.
"Oh umm, hey. Umm whats up?" I ask her.
"We need to talk," She says with great impassivity on her face. I allow her in. I offer her the couch and she takes a seat there.
"I'm- I'm." She hesitates. "I'm sorry Steve. Really I am so sorry for how I treated you. I should of never acted that way. And I just feel-." I cut her off.
"Natasha. Stop. I understand." Her eyes are plauged with guilt. Not the fake kind she gives to grieving families. But a whole hearted look. I see a tear roll down her cheek.
"Do you want to talk about the nightmare? It can help," I try. She shakes her head. As per usual, she changes the subject.
"Did you read my file?" she questions worried.
"Nope," I simply reply. She looks confused, or maybe suprised.
"I felt that if there was something that I needed to know. I would be told. It is not my place to violate someones past without permission," I explain. She stares at me in disbelief.
"Wow," Is all she manages to say.
"No one has ever respected me like that before," she manages.
"You are the one of the most deserving people of respect. Nothing less," I blurt out.
"See if you had read my file you wouldn't belive that," Natasha scoffs. I look into her eyes. I try to comprehend her words. But I can't. She looks back at me. We gaze at eachother for long enough that it to gets to be akward. Natasha senses that too.
"I should go. I have some packing to do," she says filling the scilence. I nod in agreement. She gets up from the couch and opens the door. Before she leaves she adds,
"Steve, I think you should look at the file. Atleast the first page. For some reason I trust you." I nod in acceptence. She gives me a sincere smile and leaves. Lightly closing the door behind her. I stay on the couch in awe. The way she moves. The way she speaks. They way her confidence shines through all her actions. Leaves me in a trance. She trusts me. Natasha Romanoff the Black Widow, trusts me. I can't help but smile.
-Natasha's POV-
I let out a huge sigh as I leave his apartment. The five ton building suffocating me has just slid off. I smirk and continue down the hall to my room.
In my apartment, I pull out my Black Widow uniform and fold it neatly on my bed. I pack the uniform and various weapons into a bag separate from my suitcase of clothes. From my closet I pull out a tight black dress. It flows just pass my knees. I pack that along with everyday wear and comfortable clothing. I glance over at the clock on my nightstand. It reads 8:54 pm. I decide to relax for a while. I sit at the counter and pour myself a glass of wine. Next to me sits the mission and Steve's file. I open up the mission file and read more of it. Not bothering to look at Steve's file. I have already got him figured out. At the thought a leer smile creeps over my face. For the first time in a while I'm able to feel normal. I even go over to my book shelf and start a new book. Time slips away as I read the last words to the book. I set an alarm for 2:30 am. Tonight I sleep with no handcuffs. After too long I slip into a light repose.
I promise this will get more interesting.
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- Your author, Ellie.
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Learning to Love
Fanfiction•Completed• Natasha Romanoff the infamous Black Widow, has settled into her new life working for S.H.I.E.L.D. She has found a family in the Avengers. She has everything she wants. She finds herself starting to feel. Feelings that she was never allow...
