Learning to Love

Chapter 22

-Natasha's POV-
A long break in conversation fills the car. If we had the time I would of liked to go back to Moscow first to make sure I was prepared. Unfortunately luxury's aren't a spies friend.
I look at the rear view mirror on my side, I can see Steve's head pressed against the window. His eyes dart around the grey sky, as if it may hold all the answers.
I do the same.
Yelena pulls up slowly near the path to the Red Room. I tell Steve to get an estimate on the team's arrival. He says they will be here in 8 hours.

"Thank you Yelena for doing this with me," I whisper to her once we are out of the car. I pull her into a tight hug.

"Your family I fight with you," I smile at the phrase.

"Alright ladies and gents ready to kick some ass?" Both laugh at my quip.
I lead Yelena and Steve down the path to the Red Room. Steve has his shield at the ready. Yelena has her gun drawn. I notice a few extra magazines in her belt. I have done the same.
I'm thankful Katya cleaned my jacket. Although I've always enjoyed the cold, Russia is never a place to visit without some sort of coat. I check my feet to make sure my boots are secure. I reach down and tuck my leggings into them.
I start to go over my battle plan in my head.

-Steve's POV-
It's strange to see Natasha so walled off around me. She is never one to joke around, during a time like this. So when she joked about the major ass kicking we are about to do, I knew it was a facade.
As we walk down the path to the Red Room I notice she checks her gun multiple times. She checks the laces on her boots and fixes her leggings. The composure Nat is so desperately trying to hold on too is faltering. All the times before we have gone into a battle she has always been so calm. Now she was double and triple checking everything.
Then again, this mission was one of a kind. Her niece and mentoree were compromised. Both at a young age and are at the hands of the Red Room.

I notice Natasha roll her shoulders back, it's something she does often. Like it's supposed to prove her confidence.
I wish I could tell her it's ok to be nervous. To be afraid. That it's ok to not be ok. But my words would just bounce of her wall.
I'm hoping that after we get everyone out we can go home. I would hopefully have Bucky back. I hope everything can go back to normal. Nat and I could go back to being partners.
And maybe even something more.
She told me that she wasn't good enough for me. Yet she is proving herself wrong at this moment. Her selflessness has shown through every action she took in the past hour. She risked not going back to Moscow just to get to Wanda and Lila faster. She was shot and now she's about to go and fight trained assassins. And above all she is walking with her head held high towards a place she has nightmares about. A place that haunts her everyday.

If she ever says she's not worthy, I'll make her think twice. I will prove her wrong until she believes it too. Besides I love her. What wouldn't I do for her?

-Natasha's POV-
It's not until the chain link fence is in sight do I realize what's happening. For the past half mile all I could think about was Steve. For a trained assassins who is supposed to show no emotion this seemed childish. After all love is for children.
I think I may be a child after all.
I motion for both of them to come up beside me. As we approach a snowball to conceal us.
Since the day I was shot the amount of guards on patrol must of doubled. It's up to Steve to take out as many as he can while Yelena and I sneak in.
"Good luck guys. Let's get this done fast," Steve encourages. I nod.
I feel something indescribable. It's kind of the same feeling I had the night I first kissed Steve in the hotel.
Though, this was a little different. I think I'm scared. Scared to go back into the hell hole in which I was raised.
I swear if anyone laid a hand on my girls, I will be the last face they see. It's only a matter of time until I get my revenge. Till I face Madame B. And any other faces from my past who may be there. Including James.
In the letter I was sent, it told me I was supposed to be a 'lesson learned.' As if I was an object meant to scare the new Red Room recruits into submission. This could only happen if I was dead. Do they really think they could kill me? The person they trained to be the most lethal assassin in the world. Maybe they have something planned?
In the notes left where Lila and Wanda were abducted they mention it's me or them. Again how did my hypothetical death play into all of this?
This is why I'm scared. Scared of what the answers to these questions may disclose.

Hell I spent my entire childhood in this place. What's another few hours?  

Thank you so much for reading!
Sorry for any spelling errors I wrote this chapter on my phone.
I don't really know where I'm going with this story anymore after these next few parts.
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