Save Me From Myself...Book 4

Dates With My Saviours part 3

Romantic beach date up top!

Collen POV 

"So where exactly are we going?" I asked Titan on the way to a mysterious place. When I woke up and got ready, he met me in the living room and told me today is his day with me. I feel like I'm on the bachelor, all these men trying to win my hand, I'm enjoying it that's for sure. He told me we are going on a drive and it's a few hours away, that's about it.

"I'm not telling you Collen so you just need to be patient, I know you can be patient since you have Blake as a best friend so just sit back, relax and play some music." He said and I turned on the Bluetooth on my phone and connected to the radio, looking through my phone's music app trying to find good songs to play. 

"When are Blake and Brittney coming for a visit? I talked to Blake last week and I forgot to ask and he forgot to mention it. We were talking about other personal things so it wasn't on my mind." I asked and found a good country mix so I just pushed play and put my phone down.

"Personal things, like what? He said they'll be down after she has the babies, they want to stay close to their doctor in case things go wrong since she's at high risk with carrying four babies." 

"Well that makes sense and yes, personal things like how I felt being alone all the time, feeling like I didn't matter that no one cared, not even Xavier and we were together for four years. About how he's worried he won't be a good dad to the babies, a good husband to Brittney, things like that." 

"Well, I need to say something before you keep thinking how you are. When Xavier and I met, he told me about your plans. He told me that you two were getting married and that he loved you, and you left to go to Italy just because he and I are mates, I felt horrible. I never wanted to make you leave like that Collen. Xavier, he felt like he caused a big riff between you and your family because he met me with your fathers next to him. He was so depressed for weeks and he learned to live with it and since you came back, he's been himself even if he doesn't talk to you much. I know you think that he's avoiding you but he isn't, he still feels guilty about everything so I hope that gives you a better understanding of things." 

"For him yes, for you no. Why haven't you talked to me before about this or about anything for that matter? Am I that unapproachable that you all have avoided me? I'm sure if it weren't for this vacation you all would still be the same as before." I said and he took my hand in his and sighed softly.

"I don't know why I haven't talked to you. Maybe it was the fear of my past and what you thought of me that made me avoid you. I didn't know how to approach you and be like 'hey I used to hunt and kill your kind, want to hang out?' That didn't seem appropriate and as time went on, that worry kept building and with the new guys who keep showing up, things were just crazy and you work a lot, staying in the guest house away from everyone also made it seem like you didn't want to be bothered so I just didn't take the chance. I apologize, Collen, we all should have realized that you were hurting and we didn't, that's on us. It took one evening for Callahan to notice and he wasn't here very long unlike the rest of us. I hope one day you can forgive us." He had a worried look in his beautiful eyes and his hand was clammy so I knew he was worried and nervous. 

"I don't hold grudges and I do understand your fear Titan but you should also understand that I know you're not that man anymore and I know you have a good heart if how Blake turned out is any indication of the man you are, I'd say you are a good man. I'm just glad you finally opened up to me and told me this. I thought you didn't want to be near me because Xavier is your mate and didn't want anything to do with the man who was once in love with your mate. I still love him, we had four amazing years together and he helped me in many ways so I will always love him." I told him honestly and I felt his body relax and I smiled, I don't want him tense and worried about the past, I want to focus on the future.