Save Me From Myself...Book 4

Long Road To Recovery

Sad Collen ^^^

Jagger POV 

I knew Collen being gone for six months and him being rescued was going to be hard on him when he was safe again but I didn't imagine it was going to be as hard as it is. 

It's been a few weeks since he's been home and he has healed physically to a point but emotionally, he isn't talking to anyone, he only looks out of the window in the hospital room, yes he's still there even though he was told he could leave. 

He hasn't said a word on what happened to him and he isn't eating like he should. He didn't even react when we told him about two twin girls that were rescued are the babies Callahan thought died years ago because he was drugged and woke up to his babies being gone so when he saw them, he knew right away they were his and they are doing well, thankfully they weren't harmed like the adults, which are also here and some are like Collen and some are doing somewhat ok. 

We were told Collen was forced to get pregnant with a spell and he gave birth to a little girl. We found a baby girl and she is beautiful, she has Collens eyes and his nose and chin, she's his mini-me and we all spend time with her, bonding with her but I know she wants her papa, he took care of and kept her safe so I'd want my papa to if I were her. I feel it's time he and her spent some time together because I just know Collen needs to bond with her and nurse her, she needs milk from him to be healthy and strong. I was about to walk into his room when I heard voices shouting and stopped, with the baby, I picked up on my way to his room and stopped in my tracks hearing Collen's broken sounding tone. 

"Daddy I just can't face them, not after what happened to me. They will think I cheated on them. They look at me with pity, and sorrow now, can you imagine how they will look at me when I tell them that four men took me at once? That they forced me to suck them off and kept switching places back and forth for hours? I feel them all over me, in me, and feel their fluids all over and I take so many showers until my skin is bright red from scrubbing it raw and brush my teeth till my gums bleed but I still can feel and taste them. Daddy, I don't know how to get through this." I heard Collen sobbing and I put my hand over my mouth to keep my own sobs muffled and looked at the baby in my arms and turned around to go find my mates. 

I put the baby back in her bed and kissed her forehead and went to the guest house to see my mates all in a heated fuckfest, pissing me the fuck off.

"What the fuck do you all think your doing?! Our mate is hurting and broken, sobbing his heart out and you all are here, fucking?!" I yelled and they all looked at me. 

"We haven't mated in months Jagger, we need this." Killian said and I wanted to knock him out.

"And our mate needs us." I said and walked out, disappointed in all of them. I went back to the pack hospital and I saw Jake standing outside Collen's room and it looked like he was about to cry.

"Hey, how is he?" I asked gently, not wanting to make him cry but he looked at me with tears in his eyes and his shoulders started to shake and that's when the tears fell. 

"I don't think he will be the same again Jagger." He said and he slid down the wall, holding his head and cried. I sat beside him and I wasn't sure what to do, I wanted to cry, scream, yell, or anything that will get my anger out of what I heard but it won't do any good. I heard the door opening and in came my mates with looks of shame. Yes, they should be ashamed of themselves for mating when our mate needs us. 

They stopped when they got to us and each took a seat on the floor in front of Collen's room and us. I was hit with all their emotions at once and they ranged from sadness to anger and every negative emotion in between. 

"What happened earlier? Is Collen alright?" Alexander asked and I shook my head no.

"He explained a little of what happened to Jake and I overheard it. Guys, it's horrible." I said in the mind link to my mates and told them what Collen had said. 

"He should know we would never think he cheated on us, that we would never look at him with disgust. It isn't his fault what happened." Callahan said and had tears falling, just like all of us. 

"Let's go talk to him." Calder said and we got up, slowly opening the door and saw Collen wasn't in bed. We heard the shower running and Callahan went into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

Callahan POV 

I stood there looking at the horrible sight of Collen's back and I wanted to cry. He's in the shower but I can see him clearly since the door is made of glass. I took my clothes off and opened the door, his back still facing me and I got in the shower. I froze when I heard his deep breaths and started to cry. I walked up to him and gently put my hand on his shoulder but that was a mistake because he turned around and pushed me away from him, hard, making me fall against the glass door. Once he saw it was me, he sat on the bottom of the tub and put his head in his hands and that's when I heard the agonizing sounds of my beautiful mate crying. 

I got up and sat next to my mate and let my pheromones engulf him. I couldn’t physically hug him, not in this state, not at this stage. This was the next best thing. We just sat there in silence and I looked at him every now and then letting him know I was there and looked at those pained eyes sending visions of the future where he no longer felt this pain, where we were all happy. 

“You are and will never be alone Collen, at this moment it may feel like you are but you’re not and I promise I will do anything to help you. Not just as your mate but as someone who has been through that pain. You are still loved, you are not damaged no matter what that bastard said, they are just empty words, lies to break you to make you feel less than what you are. We are here for you when you’re ready when you’re truly ready, we will catch you when you fall.” I didn’t realize I had started crying and felt something and he laid his cheek on my shoulder. One step at a time. I smile to myself. 

“Let’s get you to bed.” I got up and left him to get dressed, in private since he really didn't let me see much of his body in the shower. When he was done he came out of the bathroom and got into bed, I covered him when he got in and I kissed my fingertips and touched his cheek and walked out looking back at him. 

“I love you, Collen, we all love you." I walked out and we all went back home.