Everythingship!

Chapter 20.

I thought everything is going to be fall into there place. But, no. Life has to play games with me. When I think, this is going good, that thing becomes puzzled or upside down. It mess my brain.

He moves to my study table. His back facing me. For so much of a slender body he used to have, now, it's replaced with broad shoulders, his shirt's sleeves clinging tight to his biceps. At least, his height is the same. I'm just few inches short than him. But this is not the next door boy I know. Or knew. The person standing in front of me is completely different.

"Wow, you're getting good at this." Dhruv says, as he is admiring the doodles I made and pasted them on my study shelf. He is yet to look at me. Properly. His mom, Mrs. Thakare, is in living having a chit chat with my mom or probably with Mr. Moore too. I think he left the house as he have some work to be done.

"Yeah. Thanks." I murmured. I'm shocked how uninterested my words are coming out.

He turns his body to face me, as he takes the support of the table. His hands griping the edges of it. And I'm standing here, arms folded, in front of my long distance neighbor. Is this supposed to be this awkward?

"Your room is the same as I last saw it." He smiles. His smile was used to be my favorite. I don't feel like it anymore. "I remember, you had all these images of like how you wanted your future bedroom. You even made a house map." He chuckles to himself.

"I was what? Like thirteen then. I'm going to be seventeen now." I still have  those images or so called rough drawing which a kid can make with me. He doesn't need to know that. I feel like he doesn't need to know anything.

"Yeah! Your birthday is in June. I remember." Huh. Sure you do.

My mom told me to take Dhruv to my room. Otherwise, I wouldn't have welcomed him here. Okay, maybe I had. I don't want to be too harsh.

His gaze roam around my room and then lands on me. He wants to say something.

"You know..." Here we go. "I missed you."

"We had like talked on the phone two months ago, as I recall." And I didn't missed you. "You might be every busy to miss me." I say.

"Tarun, you don't know shit." He steps a bit ahead, pulling his body up from the table.

"I know very well." I'm not going to tell this down.

"You are mad because I left you?" What? He thinks I'm mad at him because he left to Bangalore to pursue a career? The thought makes me laugh. And I do laugh right now.

"You think I'm mad because of that? The reason is you left me confused." I say much louder than I expected.

He shows a figure like "wait a sec" and moves to close the door.

"What are you doing?" I ask him. I don't want to be alone with him, inside locked. He comes more close to me than before as his hands grip my shoulders.
These are not his to touch anymore. Never was.

"What I did with you was wrong, I feel bad about it. I had my exams going on. And I wanted to talk about it with you when we meet, not in call. So... here I'm." Dhruv is someone I know I can trust and has always been my good friend. But it's doesn't make any sense now.

When I don't say anything as he expects me too. He adds. "We can make up to it. We can make up to those two months we didn't talk. We can do everything we should be doing." His hands reaches my neck. It's not his to touch. Not anymore. I remind myself. Then why am I letting him?

"There's nothing we can do now. I'm..." with Abhimanyu. His name doesn't come out from my mouth. Because I'm not sure Abhimanyu and I actually in a relationship. I hadn't confess him that I love him too like I told that to Praful. I know Abhimanyu loves me. He always has. Always will.

"I'll not disappoint you, Tarun. I promise." Dhruv says as he dips his head closer to mine.

Do you like it, Tarun?
I love feeling your lips around me.
Oh yeah! Tarun, just like that. Deeper.
You are doing great.
I love to kiss you.
We are just fooling around. No one has to know.

His words from the past replays inside my brain. He used to call me over his house when no one else was home. All those memories. I remember myself liking it. But disliking it at the same time. I remember him liking it a lot. I didn't knew what we were exactly doing. As he said we were just fooling around. I feel a pair of lips kissing mine. But my lips aren't moving. I don't want to kiss Dhruv. He is not Abhimanyu. I use my hands to push him back. Away from me.

"What the hell, Dhruv? We can't do this. You do realize you're twenty one and I'm sixteen. And that's not the only reason. I love someone else." I say as I see his astonish face.

"Tarun, do you actually think age matters?"

"Well, no but you're not the same Dhruv I remember." He's a totally different person now.

"But we can just-" there comes a knock at the door.

I walk towards door, going around his massive body, his eyes watches me. I open the door.

It's Paras. First, he seeme, confusion passes his face. He didn't heard us, did he? I hope not. Then he looks at Dhruv, who is standing there, smiling, like we just had a great conversation, like those friends who meet up after a long time.

"Dhruv, you wanna try the games I have?" He asks him.

"Sure! Why not?" He glance at me. "Tarun you want to join us?" He knows that I don't like playing video games.

"Nah, he never plays with me, doesn't know a single thing." I raised a eyebrow at him. Okay, if Dhruv weren't here and it wasn't this uncomfortable, I wouldn't have argued but I don't.

"Come on." Paras leaps for his room, motioning Dhruv to follow him.

Dhruv nods but as he pass me, he says. "We will talk about this later. I'm sorry." He taps my shoulder with his firm hand. I had a sudden urge to yank it away but I nod in response. I actually don't wanna talk about this later. Or anytime.

I decided to ignore him as much as I can.

"My brother's boring, he never plays with me." I heard Paras telling him.

"Oh really? I think he tries to be a good brother and certainly, playing video games isn't his thing."

"Whatever. He sucks." Dhruv laughs to that.

I laugh at the irony, myself.
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