"When you have to go through EVERYTHING, to get that EVERYTHING."
It's so hard to be someone when you're confused about who or what you're. Tarun is never 'Who' he thought he would be. He has a secret which he is claimed of hiding from everyone. Nei...
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"What is non-trepidatious?"
I just asked him how he is so cool and composed. The word just comes out of my mouth.
"Like very easygoing or fearless." I said because he seems to like that.
"I've got fears, a lot of them."
"What type of fears?" I ask.
"I'm afraid of getting a tattoo." He says in a convincing way.
"How can that be considered a fear?"
"Why not? You asked me what I've got a fear of. It can be anything, what's your fear?" He glances my way. He face is glowing and his hair becoming brown from dark black as the sun ray hits him.
My fear. What is my fear? The things which people consider as fear, I like doing that. I like being in a dark room. I like spending time alone, when I know I'm not lonely because there's a difference between alone and lonely. I choose to be alone. But I'm afraid of talking to people, I'm afraid of losing someone who I love, but I've passed that stage somehow. I try to portray myself as a strong person, I know deep down I'm not that person, I'm afraid who I am, I'm afraid of accepting that, I'm afraid of that label, that I'm gay. What will they think of me? When they will look at me like... like I'm an alien, I'll embarrass my family, no one of my friends will want to hang out with me. How am I supposed to tolerate that?
The words started coming out, "I'm afraid of... that... I'm..." Abhimanyu brings his hand to my shoulder, his fingers touching my neck. His touch is delicate.
"Don't say it." He says.
I look at him, he has a genuine smile on his face and his eyes soft.
"You can tell me when you're comfortable, I'm not forcing you."
Then he moves to switch on the music system in the car, my phone is connected to it.
"Let's hear some music." Again, a safe topic to talk about.
He just turns the volume up and 'Lose you to love me' by Selena Gomez starts playing.
"Gomez's fan, huh?" He's grinning like he came to know about one of my secrets.
"Kind of, I like her voice." I say, there are so many sad and emotional songs on my playlist, which I don't want anyone to know, they will think about what is wrong with me.
"Good to know."
"Whose your favourite artist?"
"There are many... like Rihanna, Shakira, and The Weeknd... he has a sexy voice." He says.
"Shakira?" I can't believe Abhimanyu likes her.
"Yeah, why not? She is damn good."
"I've heard her few songs. What's your favourite band." I'm just trying a have a good conversation so that he doesn't think I'm boring.
