multi-ship texts (ryden, joshler, kellic, etc.,) [EDITING]

-24- forgive and forget

TRIGGER WARNING // this part deals with self harm and talks about the wounds (not too specific though). if any of that makes you uncomfortable, please skip that part. i'll put "--" at the beginning and end of the paragraph that talks about self harm. i love you all
•and rest in paradise derek jones xx•

irl
3rd person

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"Do you want something to drink?" Joe asks from the kitchen.
"Uh, no. No thanks."
"I'm getting you tea anyway," Joe hands Andy a glass of iced tea, then sits on a chair across from him and avoids eye contact.
Andy takes a sip of the tea, then looks at his ex lover. "Why did you do it?"
Joe sighs and puts his head in his hands, "It's not a good reason."
Andy looks at him with confusion, "Just tell me."
"It's a long story."
"Well, I have time." Andy takes another sip and waits for Joe's response.
"Well, it started when you left for work. I was feeling the worst I've ever felt, mentally. I did some stuff that I regret," he points to his wrist that's covered by a sleeve. "Then I left just before you got home, as I told you. I went to a bar and got very, very drunk. I'm not too sure what really happened after that, but I did hook up with some girl. It was meaningless though. I don't know what my stupid mind was thinking. I'm sorry, Andy. I regret everything. I wish things could go back to normal." Joe's voice breaks at that last sentence.
Andy just sits there, trying to process the new information Joe just told him. "I...."
"No, it's okay. You don't gotta say anything."
"Why didn't you tell me at first? When you.... did it?"
"Did what? Oh. That." Joe looks down at his covered wrist. "I didn't want to worry you. But of course, that would've been the smarter decision."
--"Can I..?" Andy looks at his arm.
Joe moves over to sit next to Andy on the couch and shows his bandaged wrist. Andy peels away the bandage to reveal 3 fresh-looking cuts. He looks at Joe with pain in his eyes.
"These still look so new. They might get infected." Knowing Joe's house well, Andy goes into the bathroom and comes out with stuff to treat his cuts.
"You should know better than to just put bandage on them and call it a day."
Joe smiles to himself as he watches Andy treat his wounds.
--Andy's always been there for him. Even if they weren't on the best of terms. Joe gets an urge to give him a kiss on his forehead, but then sadly remembers things aren't like that anymore. Andy notices the expression on Joe's face and thinks it's because he's hurting him. He quickly finishes up tending to his wounds.
"I'm sorry if I was hurting you."
"Oh no, you weren't. I was just thinking. You were actually being extremely gentle," Joe chuckles morosely.
"Thinking about what?"
Joe was really hoping he wouldn't ask that. "You."
Andy felt a small heat rise to his cheeks. "M-me?"
"Yeah. I just keep forgetting how things are, and that I can't give you affection, call you cute names that make you all smiley and happy, or even tell you 'I love you'." Joe stops himself after he realizes what he said.
"You still love me?" Andy looks at him with shock, but he knows that he still loves Joe as well.
"O-of course, Andy. I never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever could stop loving you," Joe chuckles softly while his cheeks turn a light pink. "I know what I did was fucked up-"
"So fucked up," Andy cuts in.
"So fucked up, and I'm very sorry. I don't think my apologies mean anything at this point but I truly am sorry, Andy. I never wanted any of this to happen. And Patrick showed me the texts between you guys. You said I wasn't happy toward the end of the relationship. That's not true. Andy I'm the happiest when I'm with you. It was only my mental health getting in the way of everything. It wasn't you. It could never be you."
Andy looks longingly at him then opens his mouth to say something, but Joe cuts him off.
"Nope, not yet. Lemme finish. You said that you would give me a second chance if I got my act together and and if actually showed that I give a shit about us. Which I do. I don't think you realize how much you actually mean to me. You're the man I see marrying, Andy."
"R-really? Me?" Andy sits there in shock at Joe's words.
He smiles, "Yes, you. Please let me start over. I'll be a good boyfriend. It can be like when we first started dating. Cute dates all the time instead of petty arguments. Please. Let me restart. Let me fix things and we can start over."
Andy ponders Joe's words. Was Joe seriously going to be different?
"Alright. W-we can start over."
Joe hugs him very tightly and repeatedly apologizes and tells him he'll change. Andy just hugs him back tighter and starts to tear up.