It was 1030 am... I'm not ready to do this I drank too much last night... I was not ready.. I got up got dressed took a aspirin and covered Sean up and kissed him on the forehead. "Morning baby" he said as he brought me closer to him "morning love" I said "it's still early, come lay with me" he said I got back in bed on his side having 2 inches of corner of the bed in his arms but I was happy with that. My headache was gone.. And then tears fell I buried my head in his chest smelling his colone, I cried for about 20 mins in his chest.
Then I got up and I sniffed my way in the bathroom. And I got undressed so I was only in my bra & underwater making the water how I like. Then the door handle was moving and Sean came in, wearing his boxers and a white tink top. "Hey what's going on" he said "um about you take a shower?" I said he could tell I was crying my face was red. "why is your face red?" he said "I don't know..." About to get in the shower he pulled me back "ari tell me what's going on... before I make you"he said "nothing I'm fine, I love you" I said hugging Sean but he didn't hug back. I looked at him he looked upset I kissed him on the cheek, and took of my bra n underwear and got in the shower with him watching me. he opened the door took of his shirt n underwear and asked "may I join you" "yea" I said he got in kissing me so softly but rough, meaning full, passionate, with tenderness n care. And I warped my arms around his neck. Now that's a kiss. "Now tell me what's wrong or I get out" he said after he released from the kiss. "That was a trick!" I said "ariana!" He said "nothing, it's nothing" I said he got out the shower and I let him go, I can't tell him.
I got out washing my face, drying off, blow drying my hair, moisturizing my face, brushing my teeth, swishing around my mouth with my vegan, natural organic mouth wash. Putting on a little conceiver. Then I got dressed in black and hair slit back hair and pick out a pair of high heels. And Sean is just sitting on my bed admiring what I was doing. Then I just started crying I couldn't keep it in, but I hid it from Sean and went back in the bathroom with my speech, "baby, tell me what's going on" Sean "nothing, I'm fine" I said "your not fine Ariana!!! I love you, your not fine tell me!" Sean said I didn't say a thing, I let him walk out the words just couldn't come out my mouth.
I seen him on his phone on my bed looking so beyond pissed. I was mad at myself that I didn't let him in, I didn't let my in my heart, that I didn't let him love me. I needed to make it up to him... he loves me, He loves me, SEAN LOVES ME!!!! The thought kept on getting louder n louder in my head. I started crying out loud again Sean looked up and got up and said "can I hold you? Cause that's all I want to do is hold n love you" "please!!!!!!!" I cried and Sean kissed my forehead and held me in his arms, and it felt so good I never held so tight to someone in my life... It was the best feeling ever. "I love you so much" I said "I love you more baby" Sean said sitting me on my bed still holding me "now what's going on?" "My grandpa.. Is gone, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? I miss him!" I cried in his chest "baby he's so proud of you, he misses n loves you too, it's hard but I'm gonna he here to love you, you have to promise me can you promise me?" Sean said "yes" I said "you have to let me in, you have to let me love you because I do , I love you so so so much! I love you baby" Sean said I cried more "what's wrong?" He said "you love me!" I said "yes you know that i love you" Sean said "thank you for everything, I will let you in, I will let you love me, because I love you so much.. more then anybody I promise" I said kissing him with my most,soft,wet lips, from all my crying he showed real love in the kisses 💋💋.
In the car we took pics and I went over my speech, and then we arrived at this beautiful place, with a lot of people similar,old,young,new faces that I hugged kissed 💋 and said hi to. And introduced Sean to. Then we came in tears couldn't stop falling Frankie, mom, Nona were having the same problem. Pics of everybody with him, my heart was hurting and I showed Sean pics and he was smiling he adored him just like me. :) then it was time for speech.
"You go get em baby!" Sean said
"Hi everybody, thank you for coming n Celebrating Frankie grande, known to me and my brother Frankie, grandpa. Known to our grandmother Nona husband of 70 years, known our mother Joan, father. Grandpa was a hard Italian man at work that was fighting a battle of cancer, that lost the battle of July 2014, I was with him when he passed, I loved him so much he loved me more, he was my everything, when I lost him I lost my other half. I never gave anybody my heart unless they showed me true love that my grandpa gave me. So it hurt when I lost him, it hurt me, and every part of me that day he left I wanted to leave with him. He called me belmissma, beautiful Italian he always had people dis believe in him through his career and he said baby doll in your life you gonna have people that hate you and gonna dis believe in you, and is gonna try to knock you down bring you to the bottom, but you gotta do what you want what you believe in and keep your head up and do what keeps you going and do what's right. Keep to your bissness comments, cause that is what's right, one of his sayings keep a smile on your face, be happy in your life not in the happy years, when he had cancer he still had a smile to make me and Frankie happy I could tell he was scared, but he was brave n happy, and he still did his work and fought the battles, for us! Thank you i love you grandpa!" I said everybody cheered and cried. I couldn't stop crying I went to Sean for love we took pics ate food told funny story's about grandpa, danced ate vegan food and cried n laughed it was a GREAAT time :)
@Alexialuria what a beautiful day of laughter,love,crying and such great stories of what a beautiful person ever!
@Arianagrande I love you 💜
@Arianagrande
On our way to grandpss celebration of life earlier ✨
It was a cute pic of me and Sean in the car.
@Arianagrande
What a beautiful day.. celebrating you grandpa... only if y'all knew how amazing he was... miss n love you err day 💜💜
@Arianagrande
Love you..
@Arianagrande
Love you loves forreal ✨✨
Halloween was over... Florida trip almost over 2 days then back home back to work.. 💔✨ not ready ;(
