So im back home, and I couldn't feel better. Well its a bitter-sweet time, as soon as me and Sean broke up, I left to go finish with my 1st leg of the tour & then I went to the New Orleans to start filming scream queens so I never really had a time to just grief and cry all over the place. And now im home, I don't start my 2nd leg till a few weeks, so I have time..witch I don't like I need to keep myself busy & surrounded by loved ones. Then I start thinking, I need to keep myself healthy, and crying and letting out my emotions can help, so I decided to go up to my room and have some alone time. I go in the bathroom and I find some things of Sean, and I lose it..i just fall to the floor and cry my heart out. I cant help it, I never really let my deep inner feelings out, and I scream and throw things around my heart burns..and I hate this feeling. I think of Grandpa, and Sean, and all of the memories I had with 2 of my favorite men..that I lost.
im going crazy, I never seen myself like this before..my heart burns/stings and my face is hot, my eyes burn, and my body achs, im just miserable, I cant deal with this anymore...its hard more then anyone can ever imagine. And I don't want to tell my loves that im like this, they would be worried sick, and I love them wayyy to much to even think about doing such a thing. I love myself to much to go so weak, im only one human and every human can only be so strong, and humans they hit there weak points, and last year I hit lots of em. Im just a emotnial wreck I don't know what to do anymore...I need my friends, I need love, I need the studio, thats where my heart belongs other then Sean's hands.
To: Moonlight princess 😻
Omgg, babe I neeed uu.
From: Moonlight princess 😻
Whats wrong baby?
To: Moonlight princess 😻
everything in the world can you meet me up at the studio?
From: Moonlight princess 😻
Of course! omw !
To: Moonlight princess 😻
Thaaaank youuu I love you so much love.
From: Moonlight princess 😻
Anytime moon babeee 😘ily😘
Ariana- Mom! im going to the studio ill see you later love you !
Joan-Love you babe ! have fun be safe ! bye.
Ariana- I will thanks, bye.
I get in my car and drive off to the studio, I see the hot sun setting, and the L.A drivers driving off in there own directions. And I see the places me and Sean went to and I feel salty tears coming down my face once more, and I feel my face getting hot...god now I cant even control it..Once I get in the studio parking lot, I sit there for a min and cry, I wipe my face off, and I breath I calm down and make myself in the studio..
Ariana- hi loves.
Tori- hi babe! what wrong?.
Ariana- what do you mean?. nothings wrong.
Tori- Ariana, Ive known you for a long time, and I love you and im here for you..just tell me the truth..what wrong?
