missclick || hyunsung 『english 』

forty

"Move your fat ass and talk to him"

The voice of the older's boy suddenly appeared in the silence, which was filling the space between them. Hyunjin looked at the talker as he stopped glancing Jisung, who was sitting a few tables away. Maybe he was too worried after what happened at Chan's party, but Han didn't seem to behave like always — he was quiet, looking at his untouched lunch. He even didn't talk to his best friend, who was sitting next to him. But Hyunjin couldn't know that Jisung knew the truth about his feeling and that was the reason why he ran away that day. He wasn't able to know about Jisung's panic attacks and that was the reason why he blamed himself about what has happened at the party.

The turmoil which was caused by the whole school which now was eating lunch at the cafeteria started to obscure Hyunjin's thoughts. His friends were right — he needed to talk to Jisung. The main problem was that he didn't know how to do this, how to say sorry for his behave. He was just afraid of rejection, that this talk could make things even worse. But if he didn't talk to the younger boy, the ending would be the same.

He looked at the tray, on which was laying an untouched sandwich. Stress was filling his whole body as he couldn't bite his lunch. Now, as he was supposed to talk to his crush, he was feeling even worse, thinking about what could go wrong. He sighed, licking nervously his plump lips.

"I'm scared" he mumbled quietly because he didn't want any of the others basketballers to know what he just said. "I don't know what to say, which words use if I don't want to make it worse" Hyunjin explained, biting his bottom lip. He shyly looked at Changbin, after a moment looking also at the youngest.

"You should tell him the truth" the oldest declared. "You've to say that you like him for a long time and that you're sorry that this dance didn't go well" he tried to show what the black-haired boy should say, but honestly he didn't know either.

"Just be yourself and listen to your heart, Jinnie" Seungmin sighed, smiling refreshingly. "Tell him what you feel, what you think he should know. And don't think about that too much".

He motioned his head, sighing heavily. Now or never.

He stood up rapidly, being near to knock Seungmin's juice out from younger's hand. He looked at his friends this one last time. They smiled refreshingly, trying to help him in this way. He combed his dark hair by his hand, trying to give him some more confidence.

"I'm going" he announced, still standing in the same spot. And when he saw, that Changbin opened his mouth, ready to say something, he added his next words. "I'm going".

And he did. He started to walk beside the other tables, making oneself conspicuous. Something was happening and everybody was curious about it. Maybe it was the beginning of the drama, maybe a topic for a rumor.

And when he stood next to the right table, after passing past the whole canteen, he felt as he was unable to talk. He didn't know what to do, how to not to make oneself conspicuous of the whole school. He didn't want to make things worse, he just wanted to say sorry about he did. Jisung meant much for him, but after this party, he felt, that their relationship wasn't good. He didn't know Jisung also felt guilty because he knew the whole truth, and that was the reason why he felt that he had to move on. Maybe he didn't know what to say but he had to do anything. The dark-haired boy hawked, making Jisung and his friend look at him. The light hair, which was covered with a black beanie, as usual, turned to him. He finally saw those beautiful and dark as night eyes, which rested on his body. And when he saw Hyunjin standing right next to him, his skin automatically went white.

"Jisung?" he stuttered out, not wanting anyone besides Jisung to hear him. "Can we talk?"

His eyes became rapidly bigger as Hyunjin's words hit him. He was afraid of this talk, even though he knew it has to happen. Jisung just wasn't ready at this moment.

He couldn't speak. It seemed that the whole school, not only Hyunjn and Felix but even peoples who he didn't knew were staring at them. Maybe this situation was something interesting for the others, probably he would also be interested in if he wasn't the one at who everybody was looking. But he was and the only thing, which he wanted right now it was to disappear.

"Mhm" the smaller mumbled, not being able to do anything else. He stood up tentatively, still feeling his hands tremble. He walked behind the black-haired, who started to walk to the cafeteria's door.

The hearts of both boys were beating very fast as they walked past the canteen. They both were feeling guilty and that was the main reason for this whole situation. Hyunjin wanted to talk because he wanted to say sorry for what happened at the party, but Jisung was just praying, not wanting to have another panic attack. It was the worst option — if he again chickened out, again ran away from Hwang. They still didn't know, that their both hearts were hurting right now. 

They stood when they finally get out the canteen, standing next to the blue lockers which were in the school's colors. Jisung was walking behind the taller, trying not to look at the crowd, which was filling the school's hallway. The blonde didn't want to be the school's number one topic to gossip the same as the other one. Hyunjin wanted to show Jisung how much he meant for him.

A temporary silence happened because none of them could say a word. And even though they both tried to, any words could fell from their mouths. Even Hyunjin, who was known as a very confident person, now was keeping quiet, not wanting to say something wrong. Jisung meant much for him and he wanted to prove it, but he couldn't get rid of his emotions.

"I wanted to say sorry" the taller stuttered out finally. His heart was beating in its own, very fast pace as his words started to fill the silence. The hallway was empty because most of the students were sitting in the canteen. "Then, at this stupid party... I couldn't control my feelings. I was a little bit drunk so I'm sorry if I hurt you. I didn't want to, but..." he stopped because the main part of his talk didn't want to go past his mouth. "I just wanted to say that it wasn't caused only by alcohol, I..."

And this whole situation fucked up.

The sight of big, lost eyes, which were looking at the taller's face, moved to the jeans' pocket in which the phone started to vibrate.

"Excuse me" the smaller one muttered, taking the phone. Hyunjin bit his lower lip, feeling his heart was beating painfully. Why nothing could go as he wanted it to? "Felix, it isn't a good moment," he said quickly. But after a moment he closed his mouths, hearing his friends next words.

But the next words, which have been said by the younger boy, didn't reach Hyunjin because his whole attention was paid to the shorter's previous words.

Jisung also stood in the same place, trying to understand his friend words. He couldn't know what Hyunjin wanted to say and the tone of the Australian's voice seemed very serious, so he decided to do, what his friend wanted.

"I gotta go" the blonde whispered, shyly looking at the basketball player. "We'll talk later"

And after those words, being afraid of Hwang's reaction and of desire to cry, he started to walk fast at the direction given to him by Felix. He left Hyunjin alone, letting him look at his back as he walked away.

But in Hyunjin's mind, there was only one word now — Felix. Wasn't it the name by which he was called by his mysterious friend from internet at the beginning of their conversation?

...

I didn't check it, so sorry if there's any mistakes :)