missclick || hyunsung 『english 』

forty-five

He has been standing outside for five minutes. His back rested on the wall, his head covered by the roof, underneath which he was standing. Jisung knew he had more time until Hyunjin will come, but he didn't want to be late. Raindrops were falling down in front of his face. He watched as the water landed on the ground, and then leaked down to the nearest drain. A cool wind was making him feel cold. The black denim jacket was covering his arms, but even though he still felt cold. He had time, he could come back home and change it into something warmer, but he had some reasons to stay outside. He wanted to show Hyunjin, that he isn't a coward, that he won't run away one more time.

He didn't even want to know how Hyunjin found out who he is. He wasn't worried about Chan's words. He wasn't interested in the fact that he lied to Hyunjin. His only thoughts were related to the fact, that he didn't know how to tell Hyunjin the truth. Because obviously he wanted to tell it, but he didn't know how to do it. He knew that panic attacks couldn't justify everything that he did. It was mostly his fault. He lied, he didn't tell the truth, he ran away, he sent his photo to Hyunjin. He didn't even tell the truth when Hyunjin told him all his feeling. He felt terrible, knowing that Hyunjin could feel very disappointed.

Seul was surrounded by darkness. It was already evening, but it hasn't stopped Jisung from meeting Hyunjin. It was already dark but the rain made everything even sadder. It was cold and he had a runny nose, which made him feel angry. He was very stressed and everything didn't go how we wanted it to. He should study for tomorrow's test or at least text his friends but instead of it, he was standing in front of his house, waiting for the deceived boy. And when the black car stopped in front of his house, he felt as his heart stopped beating. It was really happening and he still didn't know what to say.

Jisung sighed, wearing a hood of his grey hoodie, which he wore underneath his black denim jacket. He left the safe place, making his way to the rain. He felt as small drops started to slope on his tiny nose and his whole minor body.

"You only die once" he mumbled, crossing the street and grabbing the car's handle. It couldn't go so bad. Chan didn't like him like he liked Bang, so in the worst case, he would be alone forever. But maybe it was his destiny? "Hi, Hyunjin" he said quietly, as he entered the car. Drops of rain were falling down the pane and the car's rooftop, making a loud noise. The older was looking exactly at that — he was glancing at big water drops, which were falling down off the pane. He didn't look at Jisung.

"Hi, Jisung" the older answered as Jisung heard a motor noise. He didn't know where Hyunjin wanted to go, but it didn't matter at that moment. He only cared about how he will explain his behaviour.

The radio wasn't playing, so the drops' noise was the only thing which was heard. But maybe Hyunjin did it on purpose — maybe he wanted Jisung to feel the same way as he felt when he found out that Jisung lied. The dull drops' noise was making him feel even worse. He was bereaved in grief, shame and fear, but at that moment he realized, that he really did bad things. Jisung even asked himself what he would do if he was in Hyunjin's place. And that was the biggest problem...

His hand were trembling, his mouth felt dry, his heart was beating like crazy and cold sweat was falling down his neck. Jisung didn't care about where the basketball player was driving them to — he could only think about how to say sorry, how to explain his actions. It didn't matter where he had to do this, he just wanted to use good words, which should tell the truth.

And that was how they spent this five minutes ride — in the silence, which was only interrupted by the rain. But finally, the car stopped and Jisung saw the window of the cafe, which was placed in their neighbourhood.

"Let's go" the taller said quietly because he didn't want Han to know his feeling.

But at that moment the younger felt that he had to do something now. Hwang's car was a perfect place to talk — they were alone and no one besides the rain could interrupt them. Jisung wrapped his short fingers around Hyunjin's wrist tentatively. Hyunjin stopped his movements, still holding the handle.