Soon enough it was Monday again. I had been sick all weekend and thoughts of killing my child haunted me. My mum drove me to my appointment with Dr. Claire Green. I waited nervously in the waiting area, my leg twitching and my palms getting clammy. Right now Michael was at his parents telling them about the pregnancy. I sighed and looked at the clock, she was a couple minuets over our appointment. Then it was my turn.
'Hello Florence please sit down,' Dr Claire smiled and patted a seat next to her. 'So your mother has told me your in a bit of trouble,' she sighed pushing up her glasses on the bridge of her nose. 'Yeah I'm pregnant,' my voice cracked holding back a shed load of tears. 'Sweetie it's fine, I understand that your here for an abortion?' She held my hand. 'Yes...' I sighed sniffling. 'Okay so I'm going to go through the methods,' she said typing stuff on the computer. 'Okay,' I sighed looking at her.
'Okay as you only found out a little while ago you'll be taking pills thirty-six to forty-eight hours apart. This will feel like an early miscarriage and so you'll have a little pain and bleeding. You will have two more appointments on different days. On the first one a doctor will give you a pill called mifepristone which blocks the hormone that makes the lining of the womb suitable for the fertilised egg. Two days later you'll go back in and given a second medicine called prostaglandin which will break down the womb and the embryo through bleeding. It will be painful but you can ask for painkillers.' It was a lot to take in so I just nodded. 'So I'll book you an appointment,' she said typing more shit into her computer. 'This is the most suitable method for you and when you arrive you will have a blood test and an STD check,' Dr Claire said. 'Uh...o...okay,' I stuttered and stood up. 'Ill call your mother when it's all sorted,' she smiled and led me out the door. 'Thank you Doctor,' I called out as I went back into the waiting room for my mum. 'Okay?' My mum said. I nodded and we drove home.
When I got home I ran into my room and cried on the bed. I didn't want all these medicines and appointments. I just want to be normal again. I heard footsteps and someone get onto the bed and cuddle me. 'Are you okay baby?' It was Michael, I sat straight up and have him a massive hug. 'So what did your parents say?' I sniffled and looked up at him. 'They were shocked and upset with me but they know your getting an abortion so there not completely pissed,' he sighed and his hand went through my messy locks. 'Do they hate me?' I sighed, they hate my guts probably. 'Of course not!' Michael exclaimed. 'It's all my fault so I put all the blame on me,' he squeezed me tight and rested his chin on my head. 'How are they going to abort it?' Michael said and I told him everything. 'Oh,' Michael barely said. 'Can we please forget about it I just want to sleep,' I wrapped up in blankets like a burrito and tears spilt down my cheeks. 'Oh honey please don't cry,' Michaels voice cracked. 'We'll get through this, soon we can be a normal couple again,' Michael snuggled up to me. 'I just want to die, not the baby,' I cried.
'Don't say that! Please don't,' Michael shouted. 'I feel like shit for killing our barely even developed baby,' I cracked. 'Shhh it's for the best, if you live we can have our own children when were ready and old enough,' Michael hushed in my ear. 'Don't die,' Michael bursted into tears. 'Please I love you far to much to lose you!' He loudly whispered. I couldn't promise him anything but I told him I wouldn't.We fell asleep later that evening. Michaels arm draped over my waist and his hot breath in my neck which drove me crazy, I wanted him so bad at that moment but I couldn't. Then I started quietly crying again.
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Finding true happiness (a 5sos fanfiction)
Fanfiction'Its been six months since I was last hospitalised. This has been my third suicide attempt and I tried overdose again. It failed as you can see, I'm fine at the moment though. Also I've been away from the blades for almost a month'. Florence is a de...