Wanting what you can't have..

T h r e e - Garden Cinema

Hero

Well it's safe to say that if I couldn't sleep before I definitely can't sleep now, what the fuck did we just do? I can't wrap my head around what just happened. It's all I've wanted for the past two years but never in a million years did I think it would actually happen but now it has and we can't take it back. I have no clue what is supposed to happen now, I know that nothing can actually happen between us with Jo being my sisters best and most trusted friend she wouldn't do that to her and neither could I but at the same time I know I won't be able to pretend that nothing happened. I need to sleep but knowing she's in the next room and all this is unresolved I can't I know she's awake and the wheels will be turning in her head just like they are mine.

Fuck it I'm texting her.

*Hero - You still up?x*

*Jo - Yeah can't sleep...x*

*Hero - Same😕 x*

*Jo - I'm sorry Hero I shouldn't of acted the way I did tonight 🙈😩x*

*Hero - Jo it was both of us but I do think we need to talk properly...? x*

*Jo - Yeah I guess we do we've fucked up badly Hero... Merc is my best friend if she ever found out she would hate me I can't lose her x*

*Hero - There is nothing to find out stop worrying lets talk tomorrow and clear the air yeah? x*

*Jo - Ok .. night Hero x*

*Hero - Night Jo x*

Fuck sake man my head is a mess I should of kept my distance I should have known nothing good could come from having a stupid ass crush on my little sisters best friend. I must have finally fell asleep because once I wake up and check my phone its 3pm I definitely needed that sleep.

Heading downstairs I see my mum in the kitchen making dinner.

"Oh hello there lazy arse about time you got out of bed." she says not looking up at me.

"Yeah I couldn't sleep I think I finally drifted off this morning." I reply grabbing a cup to make a coffee just as I walk by the window I can't help but notice Mercy and Jo in the back putting all the garden couches together with quilts and blankets, the fuck..

"What are those idiots doing mum?" I ask.

"Oh they are setting the projector up on the shed wall they decided they are having an outdoor movie night, you and Felix should join them," she smiles at me.

I know I can't keep staying out of Jo and Mercy's way because then Mercy will start being suspicious considering we are usually all so close especially me, Merc, Jo and Felix since those two practically live here. I head outside and sit on the chair with my coffee.

"What you two saddos doing?" I ask with a smirk on my face, Mercy just rolls her eyes whilst Jo laughs.

Fuck she's beautiful.

"We are having a garden outdoor cinema night asshole, you going to be joining with your lover?" what the fuck, does she know?

"Wha- what are you on about I don't have a lover your imagining things" I can't help but fumble my words.

"I meant Felix you idiot..." she says in a suspicious voice, well fucking done Hero.

I quickly shake it off not wanting this to escalate I am so shit at lying.

"Oh yeah we might do depends what film we won't be watching no shitty chick flick." they both just laugh.

"Okay fine how about all four of us write down a film put them in a hat and get mum to pick it out that way it's fair?" Merc says.

"Yeah fair enough sounds good to me Felix should be here soon if he hasn't got concussion the dickhead fell off the wall last night. I say laughing at the memory and they both join in.

As I'm telling the girls exactly how Felix fell and how he ended up in the bush with his arms and legs swaying around struggling to get up the man of the hour walks through the back door.

"YO my guy." he says bumping my fist before turning to Mercy and Jo. "Ladies." he says smiling.

"Hey Felix how's the head heard you had quite the fall last night." Mercy says smirking.

"Actually it was my ass that got hurt but your more than welcome to kiss it better." he says winking laughing even harder, prick.

We all write down our favourite films and put them in my cap letting mum pick one and of course it's a fucking Marvel film that Jo wants to watch she's such a nerd when it comes to marvel. We decide we aren't going to watch the film until 7 so I get a shower and get myself sorted whilst Felix sits on Fifa. I realised that with me sleeping in I haven't had chance to have a proper talk with Jo and it's not as if we can today with Mercy and Felix with us. I suppose it's a good thing really maybe we should just leave it be and pretend it never happened. Me and Felix spend the rest of the time on Fifa until Mercy is banging on my bedroom door telling us to hurry up. They have literally made a huge ass bed in the middle of the garden with a small table full of munchies and the garden fire in front of us I have to admit it looks pretty good. Me and Jo end up sitting together sandwiched in the middle of Mercy and Felix. Being this close to her after last night is harder than I thought, how the fuck am I going to go on acting like nothing is happening between us? How can I pretend that I'm not imagining kissing her again.

I'm so fucked I know I am. #

Halfway through the film Mercy nods off which isn't surprising marvel is absolutely shit but of course Jo is sat there watching with a big ass smile on her face, she's so fucking cute. I'm trying so hard to stay awake so Jo isn't sat on her own watching it and just as I feel my eyes get heavy we hear loud snoring coming from Felix I can't help but laugh.

"Your shitty marvel films have bored them to sleep, literally," I say trying to hold my laugh.

"Hey marvel is not shit," she says.

"sure the two sleeping bodies says otherwise."I wind her up which causes her to attempt to swat my arm but I grab her wrist just , we are both staring at each other for what seems like minutes but it must only be seconds before I clear my throat and slowly let her arm go. There's now an uncomfortable silence between us until Jo slowly moves her hand on mine drawing small circles in my palm, we spend the rest of the film holding hands using our thumbs to draw patterns on each other's palms. We are playing a very dangerous game in what we are doing here but I honestly don't think I can stop at this point.

*Okay so thought I would do a double update, vote and comment if it keeps getting votes and reads ill keep updating ☺️💖*