Wanting what you can't have..

F I v e - Girls Night

Jo

It's a bank holiday weekend which means we don't have to be back at school until Tuesday and tonight Mercy has decided that we are having a night with our girls. Mercy is my best friend she has been since me and my family moved here to London from Perth the pair of us literally do everything together. You would think I live at their house, with my parents being doctors working a lot of hours it just makes sense the good thing is our parents are all friends so whenever we aren't at her house we are at mine which means we are never really apart. I have never been as close to anyone as I am with Mercy not even my own sister kath we tell each other everything well at least we did I've been keeping something huge from her and I hate myself for it I just don't know how I can possibly fix the mess I've made. Over a year ago me and Merc robbed some vodka from her parents drink cabinet and got drunk and this is the night she decided to blurt out that she thinks her older brother Hero fancies me. It is honestly the worst thing she could have done considering I have this crazy ass crush on him, I have always been clever about hiding how I felt about him making sure I never make it obvious, well up until recently that is. My sister had a party at our house on Friday since my parents were away at a work conference we were all there including Hero and his friends, he looked hot as hell he always does and I couldn't stop staring at him drinking and playing beer pong with all his idiot friends. I really needed a distraction so when Katie said she scored some weed from one of Hero's friends Ollie I was all for trying something new.

Bad idea.

Hero walked in my dads office just as we were finishing the second joint going mad about not wanting to carry us home of course Katie, Mia and Mel had the right idea leaving then of course Mercy being stoned for the first time found everything she was saying hilarious to a point she literally almost pissed her pants, she ran out the room leaving me alone with Hero. As he stood against my dads bookshelf I couldn't help but notice him watching my every move and the weed must have given some new self confidence because before I knew it I was leaning against him telling him how I knew he liked me and the feeling was mutual kissing his neck before I left the room shutting the door behind me. As soon as the words left my mouth I regretted it knowing I had just opened a big ass can of worms I downed three shots before seeing Jake a boy in the same year as me who has made it known that he likes me, wanting to get out my own head I finally gave in and let Jake kiss me and before I know it I'm on the kitchen counter making out with the creep but all the time imagining it was Hero. I couldn't of been any happier when Mercy came over interrupting us telling me we were leaving. Hero ignored me the whole way home staying at least two feet behind us at all times when we finally got back to their house he stayed outside with his friends whilst me and Mercy headed in she was wasted and wanted to sleep and to be honest I just wanted to sleep away the shit from tonight too. I had been lying in bed staring at the ceiling for over an hour whilst Mercy snored down my ear until finally giving up and going downstairs to grab some water and try clear my head. I must of only been sat down a few minutes before I'm startled by Hero walking in the kitchen with just a pair of joggers and no T-shirt.

He is honestly mouth watering HOT.

I could tell he was being off with me and I deserved it I know he seen me making out with Jake, as soon as I asked him if he was okay we started arguing which ultimately ended up with us kissing. I've honestly never felt so alive the way he kissed me stirred something inside me and I needed more the pure passion took over and before I knew it he had me on the table stood between my legs as we frantically roamed our hands around each other's bodies kissing with so much fire I honestly don't know what would have happened if Mercy hadn't of woken up and came looking for me. As soon as we woke up we decided to have one of our movie nights in the garden and of course I ended up sat with Hero in the middle and not even halfway through the film both Felix and Mercy fell asleep. I couldn't help but gravitate towards him which ended up with us holding hands for the rest of the movie and at this point I knew I messed up, how can I be around him knowing I like him and he feels the same?