"You can't give your life more time, so give the time you have left more life."
- Unknown
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"How do you seem so...calm about all of this?" Shawn asked curiously. "I mean, how are you not freaking out all the time?" Camila let out a sigh. She often found herself asking the same question. The only person in her life that had accepted her fate as much as she had was Natalia - everyone else around her seemed to be on the verge of tears anytime they so much as looked at her.
"I mean...it was hard at first. I went to therapy for a while to help me come to terms with it. And...honestly I'd be lying if I said I don't get sad when I think about the fact that I probably won't get to experience a lot of major life events that other people would...but I guess I've just come to terms with it for the most part." Shawn took a deep breath as he processed her answer.
"Camila...I really want to make sure that whatever time you have left is perfect. I know you're worried about my feelings with all of this but I need you to not worry about me," he said as he cupped her face in his hands. "We're gonna make sure these next sixteen months are the most incredible months of your life, okay?" Camila nodded as he pulled her face towards him and softly kissed her lips.
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The next day, Camila had plans to get some routine testing done at the hospital. It was her first doctor's appointment since telling Shawn about her condition and he was worried sick. She tried to reassure him that these appointments were completely normal and that he had nothing to worry about, but he still feared that they would find something horrible or give her some other type of bad news.
She walked in the sliding glass doors of the medical facility and checked in at the front desk before taking a seat in the crowded waiting room. She found an empty seat next to a kind looking old man, so she sat there. They sat next to each other in silence for a couple minutes before he leaned over closer to her.
"What are you in here for?" he asked curiously. Camila flashed him a friendly smile.
"Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis."
"You don't say!" the man said with surprise. "Me too! We should start a club or something," he said as he nudged her with his elbow. They both laughed. "How much time did they give ya?" His bluntness caught Camila off guard, but she answered his question anyway.
"Oh...um, sixteen months." Her smiled faded slightly.
"Hey kiddo," the man started. "Don't let their numbers scare you. I was given a year...and that was seven years ago. They're good doctors, but nobody can predict someone's death. As long as your body wants to keep fighting, it'll keep fighting."
His words gave Camila a strange sense of comfort. He was right—even the best of doctors can't give you an exact death date. They can try, but it will always just be a guess. For now she would just have to hold on to that sliver of hope that maybe the doctors had predicted her lifespan incorrectly. She eventually got called back and completed all of her testing. Everything seemed to be exactly the same as it had been at her last appointment, which was honestly the best case scenario. As long as things were staying the same and not getting worse, she would be okay.
She saw that she had a missed call from Shawn as she walked out of the building and over to her car. She quickly redialed him and awaited his answer as she drove out of the parking lot.
"Hey, you! How'd it go?" Shawn asked. He tried to sound as cheery as possible, but Camila could sense the anxiety behind his words.
"Everything seems normal...well, normal for me. Nothing's gotten worse, which is great news!"
"...but nothing's gotten better?" he asked. Camila sighed sadly.
"Well...unfortunately there really is no way for it to get better...it's kinda either the same or worse," The line was silent for a moment before he emitted a quiet "oh" just barely loud enough for her to hear.
"I miss you," he finally said. "Can I come over tonight?"
"I guess I kind of already assumed you would, so yes. Please come over," she joked.
And he did. As soon as he got off work he headed straight for her house. He stopped and got dinner for them on the way, as he usually did. Camila loved their domestic little routines. They hadn't been together for long, but if you'd ask any stranger they'd say they were the epitome of an "old married couple". They both discussed their days with each other—Shawn started by telling Camila all about this guy at work that drove him absolutely insane. She couldn't help but laugh at how easily annoyed he got with his coworker.
"Enough about me, what about you? Any interesting moments during your day?" he asked.
"Actually, yes," she said before taking a sip of her iced tea. "I met this old man while sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. He has the same condition as me and he said they only gave him a year..." Shawn's face fell. He hated talking about how much time they had left...or I guess, how little. "At first I was really sad when he said that, but then he said that they told him that seven years ago. And he's still fine...in fact, he seemed to be doing great."
"So...what are you saying?" Shawn asked.
"He said something right before they called me back that really changed my perspective. He said that even the best doctors can't tell you when someone is going to die, and that as long as your body wants to keep fighting, it will. I don't know, I guess before I just felt doomed but now I feel...determined."
"You're a fighter. I can tell," Shawn said with a soft smile. "You know, my grandma used to always tell me 'you can't give your life more time, so give the time you have left more life'. I think we should make sure that the time you have left—however much it may be—is so full of life."
"I made a bucket list after I found out," Camila stated. "Sixteen things I wanted to do before I die."
"Well let's see this list. I'm sure we can tackle at least some of them," Shawn said as he took Camila's much smaller hand into his. She squeezed it gently before walking over to her bookshelf and pulling off a small notebook. She walked back over to him and sat down, opening up to the bookmarked page and handing it to her boyfriend. Shawn's eyes skimmed the list.
1. Go Bungee Jumping
2. Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
3. Get a Tattoo
4. Sing Karaoke
5. Go Skydiving
6. Ride Horses on the Beach
7. Visit a Haunted House
8. Cut My Hair Short
9. Fall in Love
10. Ride in a Helicopter
11. See the Northern Lights
12. Kiss in the Rain
13. New Year's Eve in Times Square
14. Carve My Initials Into a Tree
15. Add a Lock to a Love Lock Bridge
16. Shower in a Waterfall
"Well," he said. "I think it's safe to say we can cross number nine off the list. And I think it's supposed to rain next week so we can easily get number twelve taken care of then." Camila just looked at him and smiled, completely in awe and completely in love. Shawn leaned forward and traced her cheek with his fingertips. "Listen Camila, whether it's sixteen months or sixteen years—I promise to try and make you happy for the rest of your life, okay?" The urge to cry made her voice too weak to speak, so she silently nodded before connecting her lips to his.
YOU ARE READING
16 Months
Fanfiction"It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." - Alfred Lord Tennyson -- Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello are falling in love in the most dangerous way possible: hard and fast. But what will happen when their fiery love is giv...
