16 Months

Strangers

"How do you go back to being strangers with someone who has seen your soul?"

- Nikita Gill

——

It had been a full month since Camila had ended things with Shawn and they still hadn't spoken since he walked out of her house. She managed to keep the breakup a secret from her best friend up to this point, knowing that Natalia wouldn't be accepting of their relationship ending. However, Camila knew she couldn't keep it a secret any longer when the blonde showed up out of the blue at her house.

"You're such an idiot," Natalia spat as she paced back and forth in the living room, Camila curled up on the couch with a steady stream of tears rolling down her cheeks. "Camila, I've never seen you that happy. You've never been happier than when you were with him...why the hell would you break up with him?"

"I don't know," Camila admitted. "He was in pain...he cried himself to sleep, I heard it! Being in a relationship with me was hurting him that much. He doesn't deserve to be in pain, especially not because of me."

"Jesus, Mila. He knew you were sick! He knew what he was getting himself into and he wanted to be with you anyways. Of-fucking-course he cried. The person that means the most to him is dying. You think I don't cry myself to sleep knowing that I'm going to lose my best friend? Because I do. All the time. But guess what? I stick around—because I know my time with you is limited and I want as much time with you as I can get," Natalia yelled. Camila had been best friends with the blonde since their preschool days, and she had only seen her yell like this a few times. Funny enough, when she yelled like this it was never because she was angry or mad—but because she was disappointed about something that she really cared about.

Camila had a sinking feeling that she had really fucked up by letting him go, but even if she called him and begged for him back she worried that things would be different between them—that they would never be able to fully return to their previously blissful relationship.

"Maybe it's for the best," Camila quietly lamented as she wiped away her tears with the sleeve of her shirt.

"Oh don't say that. You know that's not true," Natalia retorted. She walked over to the couch where Camila sat and sat down across from her, cupping her face in her hands. "Listen, hun. At some point you have to understand that you deserve to be happy. No matter how much time you have left, you deserve to be happy during it...and I've never seen you happier than when you're with Shawn. And I know that I haven't known him for long, but he obviously loves you too. You said you broke up with him because being in a relationship with you was hurting him, but I'm afraid that breaking up with him just put him in more pain."

----

Shawn groaned and rubbed his eyes as the midday sun woke him from his drunken unconsciousness. He sat up on his elbows and looked over, noticing an unfamiliar redhead laying half-naked in the bed next to him. He rolled his eyes at his own disgusting behavior and buried his face in his hands, hoping for that thousandth time since they had broken up that when he lifted his face again he would realize that his was all just a horrible nightmare. He reluctantly dragged himself out of bed and got into the shower, praying that the hot water would wash away the guilt he felt for letting himself touch anyone but the woman he loved. It wasn't the first time since they had broken up that he had found himself in this situation—in fact it seemed to be happening quite frequently these days.

No matter how hot the water got he still felt overwhelmingly disgusted with what he had become; with how he had let his life fall into pieces in just one month. He looked over to the bathroom counter and saw a half-empty bottle of whiskey. "Jesus, Shawn...who keeps whiskey in their bathroom?" he thought to himself. Still, after stepping out of the shower and drying off he subconsciously found himself reaching for the bottle and taking a drink. He didn't want this kind of life—he knew it was destroying him. But the more he thought about it, the more he didn't care if his life was destroyed—in his eyes, his life was empty as soon as she had told him to leave. He threw on some old clothes and stepped back into his bedroom, walking over to the sleeping stranger in his bed. He shook his head in disappointment with himself before nudging her awake.

"You should go," he stated bluntly. The mysterious redhead seemed obviously put off by him waking her up just to kick her out, but honestly he couldn't give less of a shit about what she thought of him. He staggered off into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee, sighing sadly as he added some of the amber alcohol to the mug. He took a sip before setting his mug down on the counter and once again burying his face in his hands—hoping that this was all a bad dream that he would wake up from any minute now.

A soft knock at the door brought him back to reality. He straightened up and put on his best "totally sober" act as he went over to see who it was. His heart leaped when he saw the woman he loved on the other side of the door. "Camila?" he whispered in disbelief as he took in the sight of the beautiful brunette in front of him.

"Shawn, I...woah..." Her eyes scanned him briefly before moving to the unkempt apartment behind him. Trash was scattered about—empty liquor bottles practically wherever one would fit. She looked at his face. His facial hair scruffy and his hair long and unruly. He looked pale and thin—nothing like the tanned, muscular man that she knew. Before she could say anything about the obvious change in his lifestyle, his conquest from the night before came out of the bedroom and moved past Camila to leave, but not before gently squeezing Shawn's bicep and whispering "last night was fun" just loud enough for Camila to hear. Shawn closed his eyes and clenched his jaw, too scared to look and see Camila's reaction to the proof of his drunken escapades.

"Camila, I..." He opened his eyes to see her bottom lip quivering as her beautiful brown eyes welled up with tears.

"I'm sorry," she said cutting him off as she stepped away from his door. "I must've thought you were someone else." She quickly turned on her heel and walked away from him as she frantically wiped away her tears. She began moving quicker, hearing Shawn's footsteps following not too far behind her.

"Camila, please. Can we please just talk about this?" Shawn begged as he followed behind her. She stopped and turned to face him, her cheeks red and blotchy as tears poured from her eyes. She took a deep breath as she looked into his eyes. She didn't know who this was, but it wasn't the man she fell in love with. This man was a stranger, and despite the fact that he stood right in front of her—she missed him. She missed the Shawn that she knew, the one that she was in love with.

"Take care of yourself, Shawn." She turned back around and left, leaving Shawn broken and alone in the lobby of his apartment building.