16 Months

Maybe, Just Maybe

"And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you."

- Kiersten White

——

Camila stared straight ahead, tears streaming down her cheeks as they sat in his car in the hospital parking lot. When she had initially invited him to her doctors appointment it was because she assumed everything would be fine, just like it had been at her past several appointments. She wasn't expecting to find out that things were getting worse and she felt horrible that he had to be there to hear it too. Unsure of what to say, he reached over and took her hand into his.

"I'm sorry," she choked out through her tears.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for."

"I shouldn't have brought you with me, this is too much to handle. You shouldn't be given this kind of burden..."

"I wouldn't have wanted you to be alone for that appointment," he said plainly. She turned to look at him and couldn't help but lean in and give his lips a tender kiss.

"I love you," she sighed as she laid her head on his bicep.

"I love you more."

He drove the two of them back to her house, her head resting on his arm the entire time. She glanced down at the pamphlet her doctor had handed her just before she left and sighed. She hadn't considered it as an option in the past, but now that things weren't looking as hopeful as they once did it may be her only option.

"Wanna watch a movie?" Shawn asked as they walked in the front door.

"I would love that," she sighed. She couldn't help but crack a smile at his suggestion. They hadn't known each other for long but still he knew exactly how to cheer her up on her hardest days. He popped some popcorn for the two of them and cuddled up with her on the couch as the movie started. Camila couldn't control the tears that fell down her cheek as she watched the movie. She had come to terms with her death shortly after getting diagnosed, but things were changing; her feelings were changing. Her life with Shawn was near perfect, and now that she knew what true love was like she couldn't bear the thought of not getting to live her life with him. Shawn noticed Camila's silent tears and squeezed her tighter against him. She mumbled something under her breath, but Shawn couldn't quite hear it.

"What did you say?" he asked as he lazily combed his fingers through her hair.

"I...I think I want to...I think I want a lung transplant." Shawn's eyes widened in surprise.

"That's...that's great? I think? I mean...there's a lot of risk tied into that, isn't there?" he asked. Camila sighed and nodded, sitting up slightly so she could look at him while she talked.

"It is a risk...a big one. But I'm starting to really enjoy my life...and I don't think I'm as okay with dying as I once was. If it's going to happen no matter what...I mean, I might as well try to extend my life a little bit, right?" Shawn had subconsciously took her hands into his and was caressing the back of her hands with his thumbs.

"I'm so happy that you're happy. If you want to go through with the lung transplant...I'll be right there by your side the entire time." Camila smiled softly and leaned in to give him a gentle kiss. "So...what's next?" he asked. Camila sighed and looked around.

"Honestly...I don't know. But I think I want to cut my hair tomorrow." He saw her smile, really smile, for the first time that day. She picked up her phone and texted her stylist, and sure enough she had an opening for the next afternoon.

Item number 8 on her list: Cut My Hair Short

The next day, both Shawn and Camila got ready and headed to her normal salon. Her stylist, Katy, greeted her excitedly at the door.

"I seriously can't believe you're cutting your hair," Katy said as she scrubbed the shampoo into Camila's curls at the sink. "I mean seriously, out of all my clients you're the only one who has never once cut their hair short. This is so exciting!"

"Oh please, I'm not going that short..." Camila retorted.

"But you're going shorter than I ever though you would. I mean seriously, Mila! This is a big deal!"

"If you keep talking like that I'm going to change my mind!" Camila laughed.

"You're right, you're right. This is totally no big deal." Katy rinsed Camila's hair before wrapping it in a towel and leading her back to the chair. The chair in the station next to Katy's was empty, so she offered it to Shawn so he didn't have to wait in the lobby area while Camila got her hair done. Katy combed through Camila's hair and grabbed her scissors. "Okay...you ready?" Camila bit her bottom lip and nodded reluctantly but just before Katy could make her first cut, Camila stopped her.

"Wait!" she shouted. Katy moved the scissors away from her hair and looked up at Camila with wide eyes. Camila pulled her hand out from under the cape that had been draped around her and held it out to her boyfriend in the chair over. Shawn smiled and took her hand into his, interlocking their fingers. "Okay...now you can cut." Katy nodded and moved her scissors back to Camila's hair, lining them up and making the first cut. Camila couldn't help but cringe at the snipping sound of the scissors, but she trusted her stylist and knew that her hair was in good hands.

"Okay," Katy said as she set her curling iron down. "You're all done!" Camila had been turned away from the mirror so she couldn't see what the final result was, but she would momentarily glance at Shawn to make sure he wasn't looking at her in complete disgust. As long as he looked like he was happy with the result she figured she would be too. Katy removed the cape from around Camila and spun her chair around.

"Oh my god..." Camila gasped. "I...I love it!?"

"Is that a question?" Katy laughed.

"No, I do love it. I love it so much! I guess I just...didn't think I'd like my hair this length." Katy smiled as Camila tousled her new 'do while looking in the mirror. "It's so different but so...me!"

Shawn couldn't help but grin like an idiot as he watched his girlfriend admire herself in the mirror.

"You look beautiful, baby." She smiled at him through the mirror as she continued to play with her new hair. The news she had been given at the doctor the day before was not good, and he worried that she might try to push him away again—but she wasn't. If anything, it just made her want to fight harder to keep their love alive, to keep herself alive. Knowing that she wanted to pursue getting a lung transplant, knowing that she loved her life too much to give it up, knowing that she felt the same way he felt and wanted the same things he wanted...it all made him feel like maybe there was still hope for them. Just maybe.

A/N: The first chapter of my new story "Boy Next Door" has been published! Go check it out if you haven't already. ♥️