"You taught me that love can be an amazing and beautiful thing, but you also taught me that love will keep you up till midnight crying softly to yourself, wondering how much more pain someone can endure."
- SJF
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Her knuckles turned white from her hands gripping the steering wheel as she drove away from his apartment building. The fact that he had turned to drinking after they broke up broke her heart, but seeing another woman come out of his bedroom absolutely shattered her. She kept trying to remind herself that they had broken up—he wasn't cheating on her, but she still felt blindsided.
Her face began to feel hot from sobbing uncontrollably as she drove. Her chest heaved as she tried to catch her breath, but soon enough she realized it was too late. She could feel her lungs struggling to keep up with her hyperventilating, her face contorting in pain. Trying to think on her feet, she pulled her car over to the side of the road and hopelessly tried to collect herself.
- 15 Minutes Earlier -
She stepped out of his apartment building and got in her car, and once again she left his life. He watched her car pull away and dropped his head before swallowing hard and deciding he wasn't ready to let her go quite yet. He ran quickly back up to his apartment to grab his keys before getting into his car to follow her. He didn't know for sure where she had planned on going, but he figured his safest bet was to drive to her house. Sure enough, after driving for a couple minutes he noticed that she was just a few cars ahead of him on her way home. He tried to pass the cars in front of him to get closer to her, but wasn't given the opportunity.
He furrowed his brows in confusion when he noticed her pull over to the side of the road. He drove up to where she was, pulling over directly behind her and getting out of his car to make sure everything was okay. When he saw her through the window he knew exactly what was happening. The way she had desperately gasped for breath that day at the park had burned into his mind, and that seemed to be precisely what was going on in her car right now—only this time it looked like it was ten times worse.
Her eyes were screwed shut and she wasn't responding to him trying to get her attention, but luckily her window was rolled down just enough for him to reach his arm in and unlock the door from inside. Upon noticing just how bad her condition was, he grabbed his phone and called for an ambulance.
"911, what's your emergency?" the dispatcher on the other line inquired.
"My, um...my..." Shawn stuttered. Referring to her as his girlfriend would technically be lying, but he didn't feel comfortable just calling her a friend—and he sure as hell wasn't about to call her his ex. "It's my girlfriend—" he finally decided. "She has...oh god, I don't remember what it's called. It's, um...it's a terminal illness that has to do with her lungs." His voice began to shake as his emotions took over. "She's having a lot of trouble breathing right now and I'm really worried about her. Please...just send someone quick," he frantically pleaded. He gave the dispatcher their location and fell to his knees on the pavement outside the driver's side door of her car. She still had her eyes clenched shut in pain. He wasn't even 100% sure if she had registered the fact that he was there yet. He dropped his face in her lap and began to violently sob, clutching onto her legs as he tirelessly repeated the words "I'm sorry" to her.
The only thing that gave him enough of a reason to lift his head from her lap was the faint sound of sirens getting louder as they approached. The ambulance arrived and they quickly moved her into the back of their vehicle, asking Shawn a few basic questions about her as they did so.
"Would you like to ride to the hospital with her?" one of the EMTs asked. Typically he was one to do things on his own, but in this moment there was no way in hell that he was going to let her leave without him. He got into the back of the ambulance with her as they made their way to the hospital. He could feel his heart shattering as he watched the EMTs do everything they could to help ease her pain.
Everything was happening so fast that it all went by in a blur. Soon enough, he found himself sitting at her bedside in a cold, dark hospital room as he waited for her to wake up. They had finally stabilized her and she seemed to no longer be in too much pain, but she had fallen asleep almost immediately after they had gotten her breathing under control so he still wasn't sure how she felt about him being there with her. He looked over her delicate features and smiled. Somehow, even in the worst scenarios, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. His eyes traveled from her face to her hand as it rested on the bed beside him. He cautiously placed his hand atop hers, his heart nearly leaping out of his chest as he felt her hand just barely grip onto his.
"I'm so sorry," he repeated as he hung his head in disappointment with himself. "I'm so sorry for what I've become...for what I've done. This isn't me, you know this isn't me. I just..." his words trailed off as he lifted his face to meet her sleeping eyes once more. "I just wasn't ready to lose you yet."
He profusely apologized several more times to the sleeping brunette before succumbing to his own exhaustion. He laid his head down onto her hospital bed directly next to where their hands met and silently cried as he drifted off to sleep.
YOU ARE READING
16 Months
Fanfiction"It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." - Alfred Lord Tennyson -- Shawn Mendes and Camila Cabello are falling in love in the most dangerous way possible: hard and fast. But what will happen when their fiery love is giv...
