FORTUITOUS

28| There Is Nothing Like A Dream To Create The Future

SELENE

"Haven't you told anyone about it, Sari?" Caspian asked after snatching the stick of cig from my hand.

It's been four days since Frigate and I walked separate ways. I went home for a day to hug my parents and to drink with my brother and brother-in-law. I also filled myself with happiness while caressing my Ate's pregnant belly. When they told me that we're expecting a boy, I told them to name the baby Constantine.

I met with Caspian yesterday then we flew here in New York. And we had sex.

Wala naman na akong balak na manigarilyo pa, but I am feeling frustrated.

Yeah. Caspian never fail to satisfy me physically. He can make me cum and scream in ecstasy, but something is lacking. And I can't put my finger on it. It's completely different with Frigate.

Whenever I do it with Frigate, there's an unexplainable euphoria wrapping me. It was as if it's beyond physical pleasure. He satisfied not only my body, but my soul as well. He soothes and calm me. And I don't know how the fuck can he do that.

"I hope that you're not thinking of other penis while I was screwing you." Caspian smirked.

He's still on his all his glory while puffing my cigarette. My eyes lowered on his dick.

"No, I wasn't." I smirked. "But now that I am not busy moaning my lust, I can compare your junks."

Caspian raised a brow on me. "Humor me, please."

I leaned on the headboard of the bed. "Yours is longer, but his is thicker." I giggled.

I don't like what I am feeling right now. I am missing Frigate. And I shouldn't.

Caspian chuckled. "You're goddamn in love with that doctor."

I shrugged. "We don't know that. Why am I here if I am?"

"Tell me. Bakit hindi mo sinabi sa kanya?"

"That I am dying?" I chuckled. "For what? To make him suffer the pain of losing someone you love?" I sighed. "I found out that he's in love with me."

"And that's enough proof that you're fucking in love with him, Sari." Caspian hissed. "It's alright for me to suffer?"

I smirked. "Kasalanan mo 'yan. You nosy asshole. Who told you to investigate on me? We're over for years."

I lied to Frigate. I was never pregnant. I just told him that to exaggerate things. To make it more dramatic. But the part where I pushed Caspian to love Gianna for my guilt is true. And Caspian got mad at me for that. We broke up after that scheme.

I just hope that he'll be disappointed of that. Baka ma-turnoff na s'ya sa akin dahil d'on. I hope so.

Because I am going to die anyway.

I have pancreatic cancer. I don't know how Caspian found out about it.

Gusto ko na lang mamatay nang payapa. Kapag malala na ang sakit ko, I'll go as far as I could. I don't want to worry anyone. I am pissing everyone off para hindi masyadong masakit sa kanila kapag nawala na ako.

I am actually thankful that Mom and I fixed the rift between us. I didn't expect that, but it made me super happy. Tipong pwede na akong mamatay bukas.

And Frigate... his timing was fortuitous. He made me feel so many amazing things. He made this life worth a lifetime. A month spent with him was enough to complete my existence.

"After we talk with Gianna you can leave me alone." I told Caspian.

"You never changed. Hanggang ngayon ginagamit mo lang ako." Caspian said in a cold tone.