I Just Love You (A collection of Adommy one shots)

Chapter 23

[In Tommy's POV]

He comes over to me from behind and wraps his arms around me. "I'm sorry." He whispers in my left ear. He slowly kisses my neck. I could feel him turning away and leaving me alone. I grab his arm. I leave my chair to face him. We stand face to face, not saying a thing. I slap him, hard. The sound seems to echo and come back to me in a disturbed blur; but I feel no pain, and neither does he. "Why are you slapping me, when you're the one who made your own life miserable?" His voice is the only thing that I can hear clearly. His voice is haunting. Why am I blaming him, when it's all my fault. Coming to this realization seems to bring the colors around me to dull, off colors. I lean forward to kiss him, but he disappears. I stand alone in a room. It changes. The colors are gone and there are no longer any windows. I feel something beating in my hands. It is my heart... It starts to turn black. As it turns black, it stops beating and seems to deflate. I start to feel hollow inside; like my soul is gone and I'm just an empty carcass. I look back up, everything around me has disappeared, along with my heart. I'm not surrounded in black or white. I can't describe what I'm surrounded in. It has no end, no color, no orientation. Instinct takes over me and I begin to walk. Where to, I don't know. A voice speaks to me inside my head. It's not speaking any known language. It is low and garbled; but for some reason, I can understand it perfectly. "It's your fault... It's too late... It's your fault... It's too late..." Over and over again the same thing. But what does it mean? Then, I'm not walking anymore, I'm falling. I go to scream, but the same garbled gibberish come out, only this time it says something different. "Adam! I'm sorry! It's my fault!" Suddenly, I'm not in control of my own mouth anymore. "I love you Adam! Please forgive me and take me back!" Then, I'm sitting on a park bench. Again, surrounded by this no end no color no orientation. I'm holding a little baby. It is wrapped up in a blanket and I can't see it's face. Something inside my makes me love this baby with all my heart. I begin to rock it and hum to it. That baby stirs and looks at me. It's piercing blue eyes stop me. These are eyes of someone that I've never seen, but somehow know. A hatred begins to grow inside me towards this baby. I don't know why, but I suddenly feel sick from holding this child. Terrible thoughts...

I shoot up in bed, drenched in my own sweat. I looked around; breathing a sigh of relief when I see that I'm in my bedroom.