I Just Love You (A collection of Adommy one shots)

Chapter 38

[In Adam's POV]

I wiped my hands on my pants and stood up. After I had finished cleaning up, I sat down on the couch; the tea forgotten. Just as I sat on the couch, I heard a knock on the door. Sighing, I got up and opened the door. Tommy stood sheepishly. Just before I was about to tell him to piss off and slam the door in his face, he had wrapped his arms around me. I tried awkwardly to push him off, but gave up. It was an awkward hug. I won't admit it, but I really wanted to hug him back. Eventually, Tommy let go. We stood in the doorway, trying to think of something to say.

"Why?" Was all that I could manage to squeak.

"It wasn't me."

"Oh please, don't lie!" I yelled, not wanting to look at Tommy.

"Adam, please listen!" Tommy put his hand on my shoulder. I eventually looked him in the eyes; realizing that he wasn't lying. I walked away and sat on the couch. Tommy closed the door and sat down next to me. "Adam, I swear. I came over to tell Sauli about us. He seemed okay with it. Then he just, attacked me! I admit that I was weak. But I tried to stop him! Adam, he just wouldn't stop! Adam, please believe me." When I looked over at Tommy, he was crying.

Part of me wanted to scream at him. I also wanted to believe him. Would Sauli really try to force Tommy into having sex with him? How well do I know Sauli? I tried to think, but my head only hurt more. Who matters most? How do I love more? Well, that was an easy answer.

"Let's watch a movie." I got up and put Velvet Goldmine in. I made sure that Tommy was safely on the other side of the couch with a bunch of blankets in between. But how I wanted to climb over those blankets. To feel Tomm'y lips. To believe him. I paused the movie. "Tommy, I'm so confused." He turned to face me. "I don't know what to think. I'm confused as to what I really want. I'm just confused. And it's something that only you can understand. Sauli and I really had something. I don't know if I can really trust you; or even him. But I miss you. You're my best friend. And we've been through so much together." I put my hand on Tommy's knee.

"I don't know how I could have let you go." Tommy said, almost expressionless. Then, he began to cry. "Everyday, I hate myself for letting you go."