I Just Love You (A collection of Adommy one shots)

Chapter 33

[In Adam's POV]

I cried and cried and cried into my hands. Ashley's words haunted me. She was right. What I'm doing is just sick and cruel. I'm all about trust and honesty. Yet, I'm the one that is cheating on Sauli. I've never cheated on anyone. I didn't even think that I was capable of cheating on anyone.

As much as I wanted to, I resisted leaning into Tommy. I let him rub my back. I need to tell Sauli. He doesn't come back to America for another week. I've got to tell him. I cried harder at the thought of what would happen if I told Sauli. This could destroy our relationship. I do really care about Sauli. But maybe we shouldn't have started going out so soon. I was confused and vulnerable and lonely. Conflicting thoughts raced in my head. Then, a thought hit me. I don't even miss Sauli. He's been gone for two weeks and I don't miss him. Oh god, what have I done?! I'm a terrible person. I've gotten myself in too deep.

"Shh." Tommy pulled me closer, sensing another panic attack.

Stop! I tried harder to not leap into Tommy's arms. This needs to stop! At least until I tell Sauli. You need to stay strong! Adam! Tommy's warm breath on my neck sent chills throughout my body. I wanted to push Tommy away, but I just couldn't. Stay strong! I chanted this in my head. But Tommy's whispering was louder.

I leaned into Tommy's arms and cried. I let him hold me like a child. I clutched his shirt. I let Tommy lay kisses on my head.

Breaking up with Tommy was the biggest mistake of my life. I care enough about Sauli to end this before I hurt anymore than I already have. I just wish that I haven't ruined my chances.