Storytelling

Father-Daughter A Short Story

-Chelsea & Brianna

Alright so you should know the drill by now. I'm in italics & Brianna's in bold.

Honestly I have no idea how we got to this conversation. One minute we were talking about Andy Biersack as a creepypasta (Shhh don't worry about it), next we're talking about something that I don't even know myself. I somehow always end up in these... Anyway enjoy!!

~Continuing after we finish talking about Andy as a creepypasta~

Wow. I go to the bathroom and come out to this. I APPROVE I WOULD LOVE TO DIE LIKE THIS.      (Still continuing our convo about Andy as a creepypasta)

Did you enjoy your piss or crap father?

Yes, indeed daughter of mine twas divine.

Mhm yes. And how has your work been father?

Tedious darling but I'm getting it done.

Mhm yes. And where is my food father?

It's on its way now my sweet, sweet demon child... Try not to make mess this time, last time you managed to get blood everywhere.

FATHER! IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT THE B-TCH HAD PUT MY FOOD TOGETHER! EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW THAT DIFFERENT FOODS SHOULD BE SEPERATED!! MY CORN SHOULD NOT BE TOUCHING MY MASHED POTATOES!!

I UNDERSTAND DAUGHTER BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD STAB HER IN THE CHEST WITH A SPOON! A SPOON GODDAMNIT! IF YOU PLAN TO STAB PEOPLE WITH SPOONS AT LEAST DO IT OUTSIDE!

*sighs* I apologize father. I promise next time I shall lure my prey outside before I stab them with a spoon. *pouts*

Good. Don't forget to bury the body in the neighbor's back yard.

Yes father. I shall bury the bodies in B-stard's back yard.

And hose the blood into their back yard as well, wouldn't want to get put away for manslaughter.

Yes father. But we need a hose to do that father. We only have that long green rope thing on a pipe.

That shall do until we get a hose.

Ok father. *picks up rusty, blood stained spoon* Now, where are the servants father?

In their chamber, and don't make too much noise. The neighbors are growing more suspicious.

Ok father. *walks towards basement* *trips*

GODDAMNIT! I SAID TO BE QUIET YOU SPAWN OF ME!

(We all have this long standing "joke" of me being Satan... -Brianna)

FATHER I APOLOGIZE! I DIDN'T SEE THAT SPECK OF DIRT

NEXT TIME SOT IT OR SO HELP ME I WILL GROUND YOU FOR TILL COLLEGE.

I'M SORRY FATHER! IT WAS YOUR FAULT FOR HAVING INTERCOURSE WITH A PENGUIN!

DAMN YOU! THAT PENGUIN WAS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO ME! IT GAVE ME THE BEST SEX WHENEVER I WANTED IT AND DAMN WAS IT GOOD!

YOU SAY THAT ABOUT ALL MY MOTHERS!

THEY WERE ALL GOOD AND DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK OF THEM IN THAT TONE!

SHUT UP FATHER *holds up spoon* I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!

PUT THE SPOON DOWN YOU STUPID WHORE! I WILL SEND YOU TO HADASSAH'S OVER THE WEEKEND!

AT LEAST HER PEASANTS DON'T MIS MY FOOD TOGETHER!! LIKE WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BLEND IT TOGETHER! I'M NOT A FUCKING BABY!

MY PEASANTS GIVE YOU SWEETS YOU UNGRATEFUL LUKEWARM SODA! HADASSAH DOESN'T ALLOW ANYTHING THAT BRINGS YOU JOY!

*sniffles* *holds spoon up to wrist* SHUT UP

YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCKING DO IT! IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA CHILL WITH GOD UP IN HEAVEN! YOU ARE STUCK HERE IN HELL WITH ME NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO! SUCKS BEING THE SPAWN OF ME DOESN'T IT?!

*sobs* FUCK YOU FATHER *throws spoon at head*

I DIDN'T REBEL AGAINST GOD TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT! *Dramatically storms out of wherever the hell we are, peasants kissing the ground I walk on*

*huffs* HMPH *marches up to room stabbing a peasant in my way*

*Still sends you a midnight snack, despite you being little bitch <3*

*Eats snack and falls asleep watch Prison Break reruns*

And they lived happily ever after. Please step over the dead peasants on your way out. Mind the blood and the demon child asleep in bed. Hope you enjoyed your stay :) <3

JUST KIDDING! You're stuck here for all eternity :)
~~~~

I apologize if any of this offends you in anyway. We really are just an idiotic bunch and I apologize.

I am not sorry in the slightest :) Enjoy -Brianna