When You Love Someone

•Chapter ninteen

A/N- please don't read this chapter if you get triggered by s**f h**m or b***mia. i don't want anyone to get hurt by this book this is just made to spread awareness. stay safe lovelies x
Robyn's POV
we went back to school around two days after the party. we all met by the front gate, the couple holding hands. we walked into school in our massive group, heads turned and whispered. when Emma saw us her jaw fell to the ground. Jasmine hugged her in a best friend way and i looked at Ashely. she didn't look hurt thankfully. they were talking but eventually Emma turned to us and turned back to Jasmine.
"no i'm sorry but i'm not doing this. i thought we were friends Jasmine i can't believe you became friends with them again just ew!" Emma screamed and she walked away. Jasmine rolled her eyes and faced back to us.
"so that went well?" Liliana joked and we all laughed. Jasmine got her phone out and we looked at her confused.
"let's take a photo together. we are going kick butt this year" Jasmine exclaimed and we all gathered around her and took a selfie. even though i always hated the popular posse but i have to be honest it felt good to be apart of a group like this. at least we were going to be nice to everyone and break the stereotypes. we all started getting our stuff for class i looked over at Ashley and she looked shocked. i was confused that's when i saw my jumper sleeve had fallen leaving the jungle of scars of my arms in full view i covered them up and panicked.
"Robyn and i are just going somewhere we need to see a teacher see you guys at break" Ashely grabbed my wrist and i followed her. we found a deserted place in the school and she pulled my jumper sleeve up. she kissed the scars and pulled me into a hug. i started to cry and she stroked my back.
"why? why do you do it?" she asked sympathetically. i shrugged my shoulders and she pulled away from the hug.
"i-i don't know" i said and she looked into my eyes. she smiled sadly.
"you can tell me. take down your defence and open up your heart to me, i love you. i'm your girlfriend you can tell me anything. even if you don't want to talk just can you promise me you won't do it again and i you feel like it text or call me"  she said and i nodded my head. she pulled me into another tight hug and kissed me softly. we headed to class and we didn't talk about it. every lesson Ashely would hold my hand to make sure i was okay. at lunch the group and i were sitting in the cafeteria, we are in a public place i know shocking right!, everyone was looking and whispering. we were the center of attention and if i'm being honest it felt okay, good even. we chatted and then went to class.

i arrived home with Ashely at around 3:30, we were studying for math class. well if i'm being honest not much studying happened more like making out and wishing all knowledge of Math would magically come into our heads. as we laid on my head Ashely sighed.
"what's wrong?" i asked.
"i guess i'm just worried about you." She said and i stiffened up.
"why would you be worried about me?" i asked
"i think we both know why i'm worried." Ashely said and i nodded my head. she left around 3 hours after. i flopped back onto my bed and closed my eyes and running over what happened the day. i was filled with buried emotions, i decided to try and stop myself self harming and do something healthy instead. i had a hot bath and put on a face mask. when i got out i felt a lot calmer and i decided to get an early nights rest.

Ashley's POV
i lifted my t-shirt up so i could see myself in the mirror properly. god i had put on so much weight, old thoughts came rushing back. just throw up just once then maybe you will lose a tiny bit of weight nothing major! i winced as more thoughts came rushing into my head. you are so fat i can't believe you let yourself get like this! more thoughts corrupted my brain and i struggled not to run to my bathroom. just throw up, your popular so you need to be skinny. i mean have you seen Robyn she is so thin compared to your fat body.
"stop" i screamed to no one as again i was home alone. i picked my crying body off of the floor and dragged my feet into the bathroom and i did it.

i fell asleep with a blast of confidence and pride but deep down i know what i did was wrong i knew i was messed up but i couldn't help it. i was messed up but it's who i am