Kabanata 28
Tears
Anger. It is a strong feeling of displeasure over something or someone.
Irritation..The feeling of impatience or anger caused by another's repeated disagreeable acts.
I don't exactly know what I am feeling. The strong urge of firing this rage I have inside me is too much. Anger? Irritation? Or both.
I am still standing, watching the door where Laura left. The image of her touching Radar's arm and sliding it a bit is continuously playing inside my head. This is like a suicide feeling.
Tinignan ko si Radar, nagtama ang aming mata. He looked dark and serious as he walked closer to me. Hindi ako gumalaw, nanatiling bato ang eskpresyon.
"How's your sleep?" He asked the moment he got closer to me.
Tinignan ko siya ng masama. Bahagyang umirap saka siya tinalikuran. From the very first place, hindi ko na talaga gusto si Laura. I hated that girl for unknown reason and I guess, it's instinct?
Naglakad ako pabalik sa kwarto, I didn't get the chance of opening the door when he grabbed my wrist.
"Where are you going?" He asked.
I rolled my eyes, hindi ba obvious na pupunta ako sa kuwarto? Pauso.
"I will rest more," I said firmly.
He looked at me straight in the eye, tila naninimbang kung nagsasabi ba ako ng totoo o hindi.
"Okay, I'll just check them," aniya, tinutukoy siguro ang apat. Now I want to check them too but I already decided. Nawala bigla ang mood ko sa mga nakita.
I didn't know that I can be possessive over something. I am never a possessive kind of girl. Not with our riches, not with our properties, not with my sisters...sa kaniya lamang.
Tumango ako saka tuluyan ng tumalikod. I immediately glared the bed at padabog na naglakad pahiga rito.
So this is their property huh? Not bad, but not luxurious. I rolled my eyes, ngayong may nangyari na sa amin ni Radar ay para na akong mapapraning. It's like, ayokong may umaaligid sa kaniya dahil feeling ko mawawala siya sa akin. I don't trust this weak strings we have for now, we didn't even compromise.
Ano 'yun, pag nakuha na niya ang gusto niya, kalimutan na lang ang lahat?
No hell way, hindi ako makakapayag.
***
Hindi ko namalayang napa-idlip ako. Hapon na nung tuluyan akong nagising. I get up and went outside. I plan to check on Fraulein and others, sila ang mas nasaktan sa nangyari kagabi.
When I'm out, they are already on bandages while sitting on the sofas. Fraulein is massaging Daxe's temple habang naglilinis naman ng baril ang iba.
They glanced and me in serious manner. I know right, I'm at fault. Ako ang may kasalanan. Hindi ko naman alam na ipapahamak kami nun.
"I'm sorry, I'm glad you are all okay," I said sweetly saka naupo katabi ni Sebastein. He's frowning, tila hindi ako gustong makausap.
"Ngayon alam mo na ang kahihinatnan," sabat ni Fraulein. Tumango ako saka inabala na lamang ang mata sa ibang bagay.
I accept that I am at fault, pero at least nakaligtas kami 'di ba? That's the most important thing, at least for now.
Dumating ang gabi, hindi ko nakita si Radar, klaro ang sinabi niya sa akin kanina na e che'check niya lang sila, pero nasaan na siya?
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