"Do you think I can do that?" I asked.
He tilted his head, confused. "Alin?"
"Having fun. Being happy. Do you think I deserve that?" I asked once more. This time, he held my hand and stared at me intently. Napatitig ako sa kamay niyang nakapatong sa akin.
"You know you deserve to be happy..." mahinahon niyang saad. "You deserve everything."
No.
I don't.
Binawi ko ang kamay ko at pilit na ngumiti. I don't deserve to be happy when my brother's dead and I caused it. That's why my dad loathes me, wala akong karapatang sumaya.
He continued talking but I got too preoccupied and my mind wandered off to so many thoughts.
I want to be with him as we go out of our comfort zones and grow together. Lahat iyon, gusto ko rin na kasama siya. But at the same time, I know I'm scared. I might drag him to my mess.
I myself, am already a mess.
"Kiarah." He called coldly, almost as if giving a warning. "'Wag ka na mag-isip ng kung anoa no. Just think about the present when you're with me. Ngayon lang, Kiarah. The present," he repeated. Tumango ako kahit alam kong mahirap ang sinasabi niya. Thinking only about the present is hard.
The next day, Tal invited me over to her condo to talk about our plans tomorrow.
"Mga ulol, drawing lang naman 'yan swimming natin, e!" Bungad ni Serena nang makarating ako ro'n.
They invited me here before our supposed beach day, but because it was so rushed, mukhang hindi na ata matutuloy iyon. Wednesday kahapon nang kasama ko si Kiel at aalis na raw bukas, ni hindi pa ako nakakapagpaalam.
"Kung sa bakasyon nalang 'yung swimming?" suhestiyon ni Czarna.
Tal pouted. "E, gusto ko bukas na!"
"Gusto ko rin kaso 'di ako prepared," paliwanag ko. I don't have the proper clothes yet!
"I can lend you clothes if that's your problem." She crossed her arms. "Swimming na swimming na 'ko! It's our sembreak! Dapat nagpapakasaya tayo, duh!"
"Sinabihan ko na si Blake," she continued. "G na g na nga 'yung mga lalaki, alangan naman ako lang pumunta do'n!"
Her eyes lit up and straightened her back as if she just thought of something spectacular.
"Plus," she giggled. "I told them to invite more people from our batch! 'Yung mga pogi sa HUMSS na magttropa may sasama na, pati si Seraphine and my cousin! Come on, hindi pa kayo sasama niyan? I have everything planned!"
Seraphine. There goes her name again. Kung sasama si Kiel at kasama rin siya, I can't just sit in my room wondering what they're all doing!
"Okay, okay, I'm gonna go pack my things and tell my mom." I rolled my eyes. Siniko ako ni Cza na katabi ko sabay tumawa ng malakas.
"Fine. If you're all game to this, magpapaalam na ako ngayon din!" Saad ni Czarina at tumayo na para tawagan ang mga magulang. Kailangan ko rin magpaalam kay Mama.
Serena shrugged. "Well, layas naman talaga ako sa bahay! Sabihin ko nalang may gagawin lang ako sa gilid gilid."
Tal and Serena continued to converse while my mind drifted off.
Seraphine. I wonder what she looks like.
"I'll call my mom," paalam ko sa kanila. Lumabas ako sa may balcony at agad na tinawagan si mama.
BINABASA MO ANG
As The Sun Sets (Mi Amore #1)
Romance[ COMPLETED ] 1st Installment of Mi Amore. For Kiarah Nicole, she never hopes for the sun to set. She dreads ending the day and coming home to a household she isn't happy with, to a family that ties and places shackles around her, unable to be set...
