As The Sun Sets (Mi Amore #1)

29

"Are you out of your mind?" Malakas na singhal ko.

That place has hundreds of memories! It was an area where we both could be free and be ourselves. It was a special place only for us. It was somewhere we laughed at, took pictures of, stared at the moon and sunsets together, helped each other study for exams, read books together, ate our favorite food together.

And it was also the place I cried at for he didn't meet me there when I needed him.

"I'm not," kalmadong sagot niya, as if expecting I'd say something like this. Mas lalo akong nairita dahil doon.

Muli kong nilingon sina Mama na abala pa rin sa pag-aayos ng mga upuan at mesa dahil sa pasukan na raw ito magbubukas.

Ako pa ang inatasan nila na mas pagandahin ang lugar. They wanted to make me add touches of décor pieces, plants, fairy lights, artwork, all to make it more personalized.

Natawa pa ako nang banggitin nila iyon at nag café nalang sana kami kung ganoon pala ang gusto nilang design. Something aesthetically pleasing. Something eye-catchy.

We'll build a café soon.

"Why do you want me to go there?" I asked, trying to tone down my own voice as well. Kailangan kong maging kalmado ngayon.

I heard voices from the other line, there were way too indistinct for me to tell them all apart, but it looked like he's in a crowded place. Loud laughters and screaming came next from where he's at. Para bang nag-uutusan ang mga ito.

Mapakla akong napangiti. He's having the time of his life.

Halos masampal ko na ang sarili ko habang nakatayo rito. Why am I still jealous of other people having fun? Because I didn't for the past years? Because I want them to know how much pain this all brought me? Because I want them to experience every traumatizing event that's happened in my life?

"Umm, 'wag na muna pala ngayon," biglang bawi neto. "Ayusin niyo naman!" Bahagya kong nilayo ang cellphone sa tainga sa lakas ng sigaw niya. I knew they were doing something.

"I know I didn't show up before and I'll be forever sorry because of that...but I beg of you to come here, let's say two weeks from now? Or a week?" Hindi siguradong saad nito. "Please don't ditch me."

'I'll tell you something this December, okay? So don't ditch me, please.'

His words rang in my head. Waves of memories came to me as I remembered him singing to me and confessing his feelings but I ran away because I wasn't sure of myself. I remember staring at the night sky with him on New Year. I remember taking pictures of us and the places we went to every time we were together for memories. I remember his soft voice singing to me every night. I remember all of our memories together.

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Just, please..." may tonong pagmamakaawa roon. "I'll text you when or kung hindi ka available sa panahon na 'yon, you can tell me."

"Okay." I simply replied even when I wasn't sure myself either. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong gagawin doon at kung anong kailangan niya sa akin.

Maybe he'll return the books I gave him? Return the pictures and short letters I gave him on our anniversary? I did push him away so it's normal that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore.

But I mean, he could just burn all of those.

Somehow, my chest tightened at that.

I wasn't thinking straight for the rest of the day. Abala pa rin sina Mama sa pagset-up noon at nalalapit na ang pasukan kung kailan ito magbubukas.