Fixing Sang

Chapter eleven

I almost couldn't believe it. I wanted to laugh in my step mothers face at how outrageous this whole situation was. I was the only VIRGIN in this house. Marie would have guys over all the time.

I should know, back at our old house my room use to be beside hers. I'd hear the pattern rocking of the bed, as well as the vibrations rocking into the wall. I'd often have to sleep downstairs in the laundry room. Because not even music could stop the sickly grunts and moans.

But here I was. Set up. And I can't lie, I was furious.  If I was any other person I would probably be screaming and swinging in my anger. But luckily unluckily, I was not. I was just me.

So I stayed silent, hoping this upcoming punishment wouldn't be horrible.  Even if I knew otherwise. The rage behind my step mothers eyes was enough to clue me in to just how bad this will be.

She was screeching, yet I couldn't hear a thing. My mind trapped in my self hate. Wondering why I deserved this. Why me? What did I ever do to be broken and destroyed like this...?
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Mother dragged me into her bedroom and shoved me into the floor. Tears already pouring down my face as I awaited my fate. Waiting to see what would happen next.

She stomped over to her bed and pulled out a long tote from underneath her bed. I heard the pop of the lid and rustling of unidentifiable objects as she picked out whatever she was searching for.

She then looked over at me and demanded me to strip of my shirt and bra. I begged her not to make me but she wasn't hearing my pleas. So with shakey fingers I pulled off the protection of my clothes.

As I slid my bra off my shoulders, mother was dragging a wooden stool into the bathroom, along with pale grey plasma rope. After placing it all how she liked it she made me sit on top of the stool, then proceeded to tie my ankles and wrist to the stool tightly.

Tears were still streaming down my face by the time she finished.

"This will teach you not to be a whore. Not to try to teach my daughter of your wicked nasty ways. I will NOT tolerate you thinking that you are the next Lu Lu white. Not now. Under MY roof. I'm getting tired of you always disrespecting me. Clearly the vinager hasn't worked. And the kneeling. So I'm putting my foot down." Mother spat the words at me.

I heard her shuffling behind me and assumed she was leaving me here. I could deal with that. This isn't to horrible of a punishment. I can deal with lack of blood flowing through my wrist, but I could make due.

I let out a sigh of relief and slumped forward. Then suddenly I felt a searing blinding pain slash across my back, causing me to scream out. I couldn't even get a breath in before another strike came down. Over and over. I couldn't count through the pain.

I screamed and shook. I tried rocking away but I couldn't move. My mind barely registered the glee of step mothers voice. All I could feel was agony.

Until the pain became so unbearable that my body went numb. Even as she would strike again. I was sobbing and uselessly trying to avoid her next hit. Hair sticking to my face from the tears that poured from my eyes.

"That otta teach you. Now I want my bathroom cleaned up and you out of my face." Monst- mother said a few minutes later. 

She untied me and pushed me off the stool. Her hands digging into my new wounds as I rushed away to balance myself. Then she laughed as she washed her hands and laid down on her bed.

I rushed to put my shirt on. Knowing it'll be ruined, but not wanting to feel naked anymore. Then I got a good look at the mess. There was my blood splattered against walls and small puddles on the floor. The stool even had blood dripping down the lip of the seat.

It looked like a murder scene. I would hate to see what my back would look like, if it caused this mess. Lying in the sink was a barbed flogger with a wooden handle and the metal of the barbed wire glinted with the light.

I began cleaning the blood away with a mix of soap, bleach, pine-sol, and water.
It was slow work with the pain making my head spin and making my body sway. Then I made sure to rinse the flogger and put it away, hoping I'd never see it again. Wishing I could throw it out. But knowing I couldn't.
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By the time I had finished at least two hours had passed. So I stumbled shakily out of the room. Not glancing at my step mother, for fear she would do more damage to by already battered body.

I walked painfully slow up the stairs and into my bedroom to grab a change of clothes before heading into the bathroom. Stripping of my shirt with painful movements. I had to bite back the whimper when I could feel the shirt trying to stick to my battered skin.

After tossing my shirt into the trash can I stepped in front of the mirror.  Trying to gather courage to look at the wounds.
I slowly bent down and took out the med kit from beneath the counter and carfully laid everything I'd need out onto the counter top.

Then I looked up into my reflection. My skin was paler than normal. My eyes puffy and red from crying. I seen wounds peeking over my shoulders and sides in jagged lines.

I already knew I wasnt pretty or anything. But I knew these scars would make me a monster. Where I was ugly, I'm now hideous. I squeezed my eyes shut to stop the tears. Even as a quiet sob escaped my lips.

"Aw how sweet. Now you can be an unwanted whore."

My eyes popped open and I spun towards Maries voice. Instantly regretting the movement as I yelped.
Before I could respond to her taunt, she walked away with a small chuckle.

I quickly shut and locked the bathroom door and resumed my position in front of the mirror. Getting this over with I slowly turned my body. Back to mirror now and looking behind to see the extent of the damage.

I sucked in a shakey breath. Cuts and slashes crossed and covered my back. Alot of deep cuts still leaking blood down my back in small trickles. I could even see bruises outlining what little bit of my skin that wasn't cut and marred.

I shook my head in self pity. These were horrible. Skin peeled away in rough slices. And I know that I have to try to stop the bleeding before I pass out. So I finished stripping before stepping into the shower.

Hissing as the water washed away the blood and pounded into my skin, I forced myself to stand still until I saw no blood rinsing away in pink down the drain. Then washed everything as carefully and quickly as I can, before stepping out.

Making sure to dry my back thoroughly, I applied a heavy layer of neosporin. Then I added alot of gauze as padding then wrapped it up with compression wrap.
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By the time I was laying in my bed it was  2 o'clock. Leaving only two hours before I had to start my normal morning routine. I sighed and fell asleep to pain and Debussy.