Fixing Sang

Chapter Twenty

Sangs P.O.V

I wish I could have seen into the future. Seen what regrets I'd face so I would never pick that decision.  Never worry about pain and heartache. And most of all, never feel worthless. But unfortunately that's only fantasy.

Here I am, being dragged down the basement steps. Unsure of whats to come,  but knowing it won't be pleasant. But still, I accept my fate.

As Mother drags my sore and aching body down the steps and across the cold stone floor, I hear my gown tear in places and my skin being scraped open.

I yelp and stumble in pain, trying to get both legs under me to walk, but mother has me by the hair and my movements only cause more harm.

Then finally she releases me with a final yank to my head and I collapse onto the stone with a gasp. 
"I was hoping you wouldn't come back. I didn't want you worthless whore to contaminate my family name with your treacherous ways. I thought you was gone for good. I was so HAPPY at the thought you were dead." She says on a saddend sigh.

While my heart felt crushed that she had no shred of worry. Not a spark of care. Even knowing she hates me doesn't mean I didn't hold onto that hope. But why should she care about me? She told me who I am. What I'm worth. Even if I've never even kissed anyone before, I'm a whore by blood.

Step monster is onto something though. I wish I were dead too. I'm so tired of feeling this ache inside me. Doing my hardest and coming out as less. I try to make everyone proud, then I just let them down. I deserve her punishments. And I hope whatever she has plans just sends me away from this place. Away from her face, away from my pain. I'm too tired to try anymore.

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" On the off chance that you would come back, I've thought of what I could do as a punishment. Maybe then if there's a next time you wouldn't want to come back. Do you see what I have planned?"

I look around and really soak in the details of the room. Feeling a sudden strike of fear.

In the middle of the room, was a post, with a rope laying around it. Then on the other side is a small chest with a big silver padlock on top. I admit I'm a little confused but I definitely know that she has no intention of killing me straight out.

I turn back and look at Step Monster with the confusion on my face. She gives a disgusting smile before pulling me in the very direction of the beam pole and chest.

I try to stop her. Try to pull away and run. But for her to be so sick she has a death grip on my hair. Even digging my nails into her skin didn't even seem to faze her.

"Now, now Whore, you can't escape. I have such big plans for you. You can finally put those whorish ways to use for this family. Make us some profit that I deserve for taking care of you. You have to pay me back for that. So hush now and I'll get your first visitor."

I am terrified as she ties my arms around the pole. My face digging into the rough wooden beam. I try resisting but my body is just to weak. I couldn't even stop her from cutting my clothes away with a pair of kitchen scissors. Instead I internally plead. Words getting choked off by my wracking body.

I don't want to die!
I don't want to die!
I don't want to die!
I don't want to die...
I don't want to hurt.
I don't want to be here.
Im sorry!!!

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I'm alone. Its been what felt like hours of me standing in an awkward angle with my arms around the pole. My tears long since gone and my face feels swollen and tight. I think I might have splinters along the front side of my body.

Its too dark to see anything not even the pole thats pressed against my face. I feel swallowed and alone. Stuck with my thoughts that are just as dark.

I wish I could see the guys again. I wish I would have let them in. Apologize for staying distant. I really do miss them...

Do they even miss me?