imallexx x memeulous // 【ｔｒｙ】✔

【ｌｉｆｅ ｏｒ ｄｅａｔｈ？】

"how did you sleep last night?" niall asked, setting down a cup of coffee on the table next to alex.

in reality, alex didn't sleep at all.

but, he didn't want to bother niall.

"fine," he mumbled, running his hands through his hair.

it felt touseled and matted.

he needed a shower.

he stood up from his chair and stretched.

"i'm going to take a shower," he spoke as he started walking away.

niall's voice made him stop.

"okay, i'm going to head to the shops and get some food."

alex mumbled a 'ok' before walking towards the bathroom.

typically, when alex would take a shower, he would sit in the tub and think. he tended to do this when he was anxious or upset. 

but right now, he didn't feel any emotion whatsoever.

he felt like his throat was full of guilt and he couldn't speak. his lungs were broken and his stomach was empty, he couldn't breathe or eat.

he felt like he was dead.

when the two reached niall's house, that's when it finally hit him.

there was no point in doing anything anymore.

the people who cared about him had left, his friends hadn't even bothered to contact him whatsoever.

no texts.

no calls.

nothing.

sure, he knew he had niall, but he was growing tired of him.

he spent 6 days out of the week working on his videos, leaving one day for him to relax.

and those days were the worst.

he wanted to be with alex all day long. he wanted to do things, to go outside, to go to a pub.

alex understood where niall was coming from, for when he used to make videos, he would spend hours upon hours working on the video, trying to make it as perfect as possible. as a result of this, he would typically be up all night, wanting to do something, go somewhere.

alex had a faint memory of george and him sleeping all day and staying up at night to record - that was why they had to move out of their first flat, they had decided to make a video at 2 a.m, and apparently they were too loud.

alex missed staying up with george.

it was funny when george was tired, he refused to go to bed and would run around and do anything he could to get rid of his energy. but in the end, alex would be the one to put him to bed, being too tired himself, for watching george run around like an idiot.

now if alex wanted to go to bed, and if it wasn't sunday, he would have to wait until niall stopped recording, for his bedroom was right behind where he made his videos.

so alex would stay upstairs for most of the day, lying on the couch, flipping through the same tv channels.

even though niall was downstairs, alex could hear every single fucking word he said.

sure, alex wasn't interested in watching tv, and he didn't really care if he heard it or not, but hearing niall's voice 24/7 was starting to drive him insane.

some days, alex was so tired of him, he considered going downstairs and making a video with niall, just to get the man to shut up.

but, niall gave him a home, so he kept to himself.

as alex sat in the shower today, his mind kept wandering back to george.

specifically, how he hadn't seen him in over a week.

alex knew that george didn't want to see him, but at the same time, he couldn't stop thinking about him. 

even as he laid in bed next to niall, his mind was on george.

he was always thinking: what was george doing?

alex sat in the shower until he realised the water was losing heat, so he got out.

as alex walked down the corridor towards niall's room, he felt worse than usual.

like, the guilt and pain were coming together all at once, ready to ruin his day yet again.

when he reached niall's room, he quickly put on a t-shirt and jeans and headed towards the kitchen.

he was starving, but he didn't care.

he only knew it was a matter of time before niall came home, so he had to hurry.

opening up the top kitchen cupboard, he grabbed the bottle of pills he had found the other day while putting away the cereal.

he didn't know what they were exactly, but he knew they would help him.

before he had a chance to open the cap, he heard the front door creak open.

thankfully, niall couldn't see him from where he was.

"oh honey, i'm home," niall joked, the sound of the door closing as he spoke.

alex had to think fast.

quickly, he put the bottle in his pocket and walked towards where niall's voice was coming from.

niall smiled, seeing his boyfriend.

"hey, babe, i missed you," the platinum blond spoke, pulling the shorter man into a hug.

"right, yeah," alex spoke, trying to get out of the male's embrace.

"hey, i'm just going to go for a walk real, quick, y'know, i'm feeling kind of good today," alex spoke, making a run for the door.

niall's voice made him stop.

"seriously? i've been gone all day, it's sunday, we have the rest of the day to spend together."

alex's hand gripped the handle of the door.

"well, uh, i'll be back soon, in the meantime, you can get a head start on your video."

the room fell silent.

"okay," niall spoke before leaving.

alex took a quick glance behind him to make sure that he had left the room.

alex turned the door handle and slammed the door shut behind him, and started running.

he had to get home, he couldn't take it anymore.

either he saw george or he died.