The Bubble Reviews 2.0 (ON HIATUS)

Sky_is_limit review: When Worlds Collide

Book name: When Worlds Collide

Author: dawnn_mariee13
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Reviewer: sky_is_limit

Hi! You wanted me to focus on plot, dialogue, and characters. Of course, I mentioned other things too.

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Title/Cover/Blurb

The title is very unoriginal. With a search on Wattpad, a ton of other stories pop up and I scrolled to see where yours was. I didn't find it. It may be worthwhile to rework the title. The only good thing is that it matches the story. I'm not a fan of the cover. It's not appealing to me because the photo used is kind of blurry, the font for the title doesn't do the picture justice. I think it's overly simple and a bit more can be done. Finally, the story lacks a blurb. It's just one sentence and that's enough to actually push me and many other readers away. We don't want to read a story we know nothing about.

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Grammar (focus)

The dialogue was a focus point so I do mention a bit of it here.

So, I and another reader noticed that the word 'softly' is overly used. At first, I didn't think much of it, but it was used in every other paragraph to define the tone of voice. It quickly got annoying to consistently see the same word being used to describe how people sound when talking. That opened my eyes to the lack of sentence variations and descriptions. Instead of 'I say softly' you can describe more and show us. 'I whisper, my voice barely audible over the ruckus in the halls.'

Furthermore, the dialogue tags are always the same. Words are continuously repeated and I would love to see some variation. Dialogue doesn't always need a tag, just as you can add more character actions instead of mumble, say, ask, question. It's worthwhile to change it up.

The dialogue and sentence structure is my main concern. Everything is just really bland and that had to do with a lack of details. Overall, you're good at grammar.

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Plot Development (focus)

This was another focus point so I'll describe my experience.

First thing I thought when reading what that this is just like every other cliche teen fiction story on Wattpad. Nothing differentiated this story from any other. The plot is unoriginal and nowhere near unique, I'm afraid. Usually, I love a good cliche, but not when the plot is so saturated with the same things over and over. I was slightly disappointed.