The Bubble Reviews 2.0 (ON HIATUS)

Sky_is_limit review: Made in San French-cisco

Book name: Made in San French-Cisco

Author: yo_fave_slimmy
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Reviewer: sky_is_limit

Hi! So, you didn't list any specifics for me to focus on, so general review it is. I'll let you know what I found, how I felt, and why.

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Title/Cover/Blurb

I absolutely love the title. It's so creative and at first, I thought it was Made in San Francisco and I thought it was so unoriginal and didn't make sense because the story really starts in France. Well, yay for me rereading. Your cover is done pretty well. It's simple, but I think it fits fine for the story. Everything is easy to read, even your author's name. Your blurb could use a bit of work. At this point, it's not very hooking in my opinion. I don't feel anything pulling me to read it. Something quick, I personally don't recommend adding excerpts in blurbs because I feel it compensates for a lack of description. That's just how I feel though, you'll find lots of blurbs on Wattpad that include small excerpts, so it's a popular trend.

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Grammar

Overall, it's not bad, but I did find a small bit of inconsistencies which I'll go over. I'll also mention the description here.

First things first. I noticed a spacing problem that happened throughout the story. There would usually just be a double space shoved somewhere, not a big deal. Sometimes, depending on what you use to write, the format can goof up when copying and pasting to Wattpad. Similarly, sometimes paragraphs weren't double spaced, representing another possible formatting issue. I think I also saw one time where a sentence lacked end punctuation. Quickly, rather than caps being used, italics are a great substitute and more professional. Those are just a few things to look out for.

Your dialogue is tagged and punctuated pretty well. I don't have much to say there, honestly. One thing, be careful about non-speaking tags. Sometimes, 'nod' was used as a tag and punctuated like a speaking tag. 'Nod' is an action beat, so periods and capitalization for things like that.

There were a few inconsistencies regarding the tenses that I noticed throughout the reading. From my understanding, the story is in the present tense but occasionally some past was thrown in. Furthermore, I feel the sentence structure could be a little more complex and structured differently. Occasionally, the syntax was a little off, meaning words were arranged improperly sometimes. A key feature is also comma usage. Sometimes commas were either missing or used when they shouldn't be. Your writing is still understandable, but that's something to think about when writing or editing.