Confused at First Sight (gxg)

Chapter 19 - I'm Out

I stood before the tomb stone in front of me, where my mother was buried. It was surrounded by flowers and photos of her. I blew out a deep breath as I kneel down, touching the ground right above her. 

I decided to come to the cemetery and visit my mom today. I felt like it would relieve me a little. So, I drove by after work. I didn't know exactly what to say. Well, I did. I just couldn't figure out how to word it. I was going to try my best to put out what I wanted her to hear, if she does hear me. 

"H-hi mom," I began to speak. 

"Your funeral was amazing. Hope your'e happy about that," I slightly chuckled, then shook my head at that stupid comment. 

I continued to stare at the tomb stone, re-reading what was engraved on it while I thought about something more relevant to say.

"I'm . . . I uh, I miss you, a lot," I sighed.

"I've been such a horrible daughter," I said looking away.

Tears started forming in my eyes. "You didn't deserve the way I treated you. I was just so pissed, and all I wanted was answers and to know that you still love me. That was on me, though, because I gave you the cold shoulder. I ignored you, and I feel stupid for doing that. Beyond stupid."

"I should have reached out to you when I had the chance," I sniffled. By now tears were trickling down my cheeks.

"And I'm sorry. For everything. If you're listening to me, I want you to know that I forgive you. I love you, mom. I always will," I choked out. I stood up from my knees and wiped the tears away with my sleeve. I took one last look at her tomb before walking away. As I walked, I felt a weight lifting off my shoulders. I felt better. 

---

I parked my car and checked myself out in the mirror to make sure my eyes no longer looked puffy. I didn't wanna cook up any suspicion. I also didn't want anyone to know where I was. 

As soon as I walked into the house, I was attacked by the devil.

"Where have you been? You're late! This is unacceptable, Terrin!" Rachael yelled.

"I'm here, aren't I?" I retorted.

"Don't get an attitude with me, Terrin. I'm the last person right now you wanna do that with," she warned.

I sighed and attempted to walk around her but she stood in my way. Seriously, Rachael. I don't need this right now. Or ever.

"You were supposed to be here an hour ago to help with the planning! Where were you?"

"I was out. I'm here now. If you need me, let's go ahead and get whatever you need me for over with," I spoke, crossing my arms.

"We took care of it without you so if you don't like how something's not a certain way, that's on you!"

"I don't care! Jordan's the bride, I'm only the bridesmaid! I'm not gonna be there 24/7 planning a wedding that's not even mine!" I yelled.

"Listen," she stepped closer and spoke in a low voice. "You don't have to be a part of this wedding. Hell, if it were up to me, you wouldn't even have an invitation! But, this was Jordan's idea, and if you don't want anything to do with it, I will tell her, and you backing out of this will only hurt her. Is that what you want, Terrin?

I stared at her without answering. I didn't know how to answer. She hurt me, but it probably wouldn't feel right doing it right back.

"You better make up your mind, because I am not gonna let you ruin my son's wedding!"

"What's going on?" Jordan's voice came from behind us, causing Rachael to quickly turn around and plaster a fake smile on her face.

"Nothing, Terrin and I were just discussing the wedding," she spoke. "Terrin, didn't you have something you wanted to say to Jordan?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, then looked at Jordan who had curiosity written on her face.

"What's up, Terrin?" Jordan spoke.

I looked at Rachael, then back at Jordan. "I'm uh, I just wanted to apologize for being late."

"It's alright," she smiled, then proceeded to walk into the kitchen. Rachael gave me a dirty look before walking away with her arms crossed.

I grabbed a bottle of water from the kitchen then sat down in the living room. Jordan followed me in and sat down next to me.

"So, how do you really feel about this wedding?" She surprised me with the question.

I wish it weren't happening, I wanted to say.

"I-I'm happy for you guys," I lied. But I could tell by the look on Jordan's face that she didn't believe me.

"I'm sorry," she sighed.

"Sorry for what?" I asked taking a sip of my water.

"Choosing Conner over you. I really didn't want to, but-"

"But what?" I interrupted. "You shouldn't be apologizing to me about choosing him, if you really wanted him instead of me, and it's obvious you do. You're getting married to him. If you were really sorry, none of this would be happening. You made your choice, Jordan."

I stood up but she grabbed my arm to stop me from walking away.

"Trust me, Terrin, it isn't like that at all. Conner is-"

"-going to be your husband. It's quite clear how this is." I spoke. I escaped from her grip and walked away but stopped at my tracks.

"Find yourself another bridesmaid. I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'm out."

"No Terrin, I need you! You don't understand!"

"What you don't understand is that you're asking me to be your bridesmaid after hurting me, Jordan! I'm sorry but no. It's not gonna happen."

"Terrin I'm sorry!" She spoke behind me as I walked away.

"I'm sorry too," I replied closing the door.

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hi

Short chapter, I know. But, next chapter will be longer (yay)

It will also be the last chapter. There might be an epilogue too :) 

I see a lot of you guys are hating on Jordan, lol! But there will be a surprise awaiting ;) 

vote/comment if you enjoyed this chapter :) xx