ʜᴇʀᴏᴇs | ʙɴʜᴀ

↳ chapter 43

I forced a smile at him. All Might always smiled, right? And he was the strongest hero. If I wanted to be strong, I had to pretend to be strong. I had to pretend to be okay. I had to pretend that I could still manage. I didn't want anyone to worry about me. I was still fine. Besides, father told me to smile even when he was gone, right? He wanted me to smile.

Smile. Smile. Smile.

SMILE!

I started breathing at a rapid pace. No, I had to smile. I had to smile. I had to stay strong. I had to SMILE! Izuku was now worried as hell. He shouted for Shoto. My eyes darted around. What was going on? Beads of sweat started trickling down my forehead, and my fingertips felt so cold, yet my head felt so hot. Nausea and dizziness overtook me, making me lean on Izuku. Shoto, who had finally arrived, put his hands on my shoulders. Why was I crying? Stop crying. Stop crying. Everything was fine. I was fine.

"Sakura, look at me, " Shoto said calmly. My eyes stopped darting around, and I focused on the white and red-headed boy.

"Breathe in, and breathe out... You're having a panic attack, " he said, as though he knew them from the back of his hand. I followed Shoto's advice.

"Alright, now I want you to close your eyes and imagine yourself in a happy place. Like a beach. Imagine yourself on a hammock, the sun's rays shining down on you, " he said, his voice remaining calm and composed.

Shoto continued to lead me through my panic attack, which over some time, mellowed down. We walked out of the exam building, back on to the bus. Suddenly, that Shindo guy ran to me, much to my disappointment, asking for my number. I contemplated giving it to him, when Shoto wrapped his arm around me, glaring at him.

"Sorry, but she's taken, "

Shindo's eyes widened at the sight, apologizing and scampering off. I raised an eyebrow at Shoto. Since when was I taken? I voiced out my question, only to be responded with:

"The potato chips under your bed. I thought you claimed that you were in love with it and in a relationship with it, "

I smiled. He remembered what I said. That was from one of our sparring sessions. He still remembered what I joked about. Why? Why did it matter? Why did I matter to him? A light blush spread across my face, which went unnoticed by either of us. I poked his cheek.

"I can't believe that you remember that!"

"And I can't believe that you recovered from your panic attack so fast, " he shot back.

Damn. Shoto had a personality? Izuku really had made some major changes to him ever since the sports festival. This boy had sass. I tched at his comment. That reminded me, how on earth did he know how to deal with a panic attack? I furrowed my eyebrows at the thought. I would ask him about it later. Meanwhile, I boarded the bus, with a forced smile on my face. At this point, I didn't even know what was real anymore.

•

"Shoto, how you know how to deal with my panic attack?" I asked curiously.

Shoto and I were curled up on the sofa, my head on his shoulder. At some point, both of us stopped seeing embarrassed about physical contact. Besides, friends could lean on each other's shoulders right? Shoto looked surprised at the question, when I realized it was not my business to pry.

"It's fine, you don't have to answer..." I trailed off.

"It's fine, I want to tell you, " he said, letting out a sigh.

"I think I'm ready to tell you about my past, " he said hesitantly.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes, " he said, his voice full of confidence.

I sat there, patiently waiting for him to tell his story. Although, I had a vague idea of what it was. He took a deep breath, sighing. I assured him once again that he didn't need to say it, but he turned it down, insisting that he wanted to tell me.

10 years ago

Endeavour slapped young Shoto, demanding him to get back up. He vomited on the floor, his mother's voice defending him, trying to get him to stop it. A loud slap was heard throughout the room. Shoto's eyes were filled with fear. This was normal, right? If it wasn't normal, then why did it happen every day? His father dragged him up, demanding him to get back to training. Tears prickled at his eyes. He needed to learn to stop crying. It was normal.

The next day, Shoto was going to try to cheer up his mother, who was in the kitchen. Her sweet, melancholic voice was full of fear. He peeked out from the corner of the door, about to run up to his mother and hug her. But when he saw her hand trembling, her voice quivering, stumbling over her words on the phone, he froze.

"When I look at his left side... All I see is that- that monster, "

Rei Todoroki slowly turned around, looking at the doorframe with her 7-year-old peeking out. Fear was evident in her eyes. In her eyes, he was half of that monster of a parent. The kettle let out a high pitched whistle, and Shoto's mother dumped the burning hot water on the child's left side. He yelped in pain. What was going on? Why was she hurting him?

No, he knew why. It was because he was half of his father. He was half a monster.

Present

My eyes bored into Shoto. I wasn't expecting that. He went on further, to say that his father threw his mother into the hospital because of that. Whatever knowledge I had on the family... It was nothing compared to what I had just heard. I wanted to pity him, but I knew that he would hate it if I showered him in pity. That was how I felt whenever someone did that when I brought up my father's death. I patted his back.

"Whatever you went through, made you into the Shoto that you are today. The Shoto that we all know and love. The Shoto that secretly cares about all of us. The Shoto that I know, " I said, my head slipping down onto his lap.

No matter what his past was, he was still the Shoto I had a crush on.