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Bilbo and I started to make our way out of the kingdom, not bothering to stay for the joyful feast that was due to take place that evening. Our spirits simply weren't up for it and it was time to go home. I didn't think that home would ever cross my mind again, but I was ready to be in the Shire again. Kili was why I felt a sense of belonging of this journey, a sense of home, but without him I didn't feel like a belonged anywhere. Even though I still didn't feel like I belonged in the Shire anyway, I couldn't find anywhere else to go.
I fiddled with my newly done courting braid that Balin had just given me as I walked out of the kingdom gates with Bilbo. Our horses were saddled up ahead, carrying supplies to make the trip back to Bag-End.
I looked over to Bilbo and sighed, "Ready?"
"As ever."
Before we could begin our advance to the horses, we heard footsteps shuffle across the stone ground. "There is to be a great feast tonight," Balin's voice stated from behind. We turned to face Balin. "Songs will be sung, tales will be told, and Thorin Oakenshield will pass into legend."
Bilbo and I's heads hung and our eyes searched the ground. Bilbo slowly rose to look up at Balin. "I know that's how you must honor him, but to me, he was never that." Bilbo choked on his words, holding back tears simultaneously. "He was...to me...he was..." Bilbo stopped there, not even attempting to finish his sentence.
I cut into the conversation, saving him from the words that made his heart ache. "We will just slip away quietly. Tell the others goodbye for us?" I stated, trying to ignore the pain those words caused. It hurt to leave so abruptly, but I couldn't stay...it troubled me too much.
Balin's pursed lips formed a smile as he looked over his shoulder. "Why don't you tell em yourself?"
I followed his sight, finding the same dwarves my eyes studied and memorized the night I joined the company. I bit the inside of my lip, keeping the tears away. "If any of you are ever passing Bag-End..."
Bilbo gathered himself and looked back to the dwarves. "Tea is at four," he finished. "There's plenty of it, you are welcome any time." A tear now streamed down Bilbo's face. The dwarves bowed their heads in acknowledgement. "Oh and uh...don't bother knocking."
The faint sound of laughter broke amongst the group. I could even feel myself smile and let out a small chuckle. I placed my hand on Bilbo's shoulder. "Thank you for a journey worth remembering." I paused for a second, letting my eyes scan past the dwarves one more time. "Thank you for a story worth telling."
With that final statement, Bilbo and I turned to where Gandalf sat atop his horse with two other ponies next to him. I shoved my foot into the stirrup and swung myself up onto the pony's back. Bilbo followed the same action.
