Dani's December

Chapter 14

There wasn't ever any time when things where specifically declared between us, but if i had to pick one, it would have been that moment. And from then on, we were like any other couple. Except that we weren't. I had always heard about prejudice against gays but now i was at the receiving end of it. Dani didn't seem to notice any of the glares or discusted faces, when i was with Dani i didn't mind it so much, she was my strenght. When i was alone however, it got to me.

"So, how long have you like, liked girls?" I asked her one night when we were watching some show, her eyes were glazed over like they get when she's unintrested.

"Whatcha mean, toots?" She turns her attention to me.

I look at her hand that's intertwined with mine. "Like how long have you been gay?"

"I've never not been gay." Her response seems kind of aggitated. Great, i've fucked things up.

"Oh, i was just wondering.. i didn't know if you had maybe... i dunno i was dumb for asking i'm sorry."

I spew out as quickly as i can.

"It's fine, really Jen. Calm yourself." She says with one of her sly crooked grins.

God, i just can't resist her.. She leans in and kisses me, pinning my back to the couch.

And as she works her way down my neck i can't help but remembering the first night at the party when i saw her in the room with the other girl. I knew that she got around, but was she still getting around even with me in the picture? She was good enough at the seduction part, that was for sure, and i'm quite certain, if she could get them to let her kiss them once, just once, that the fight would be over and her bed would be filled for the evening.

"What about you?" She huskily says against the base of my throat, pulling me back into the here and now. "Huh" is all i can manage. "Women, how long have you liked them?"

"Well," I say trying to catch my breath, "I wasn't ever really sure what i liked, i never really liked anyone, and didn't pay enough attention to find out."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait.... you're telling me you're a virgin?" She says smiling a huge grin.

"Well.. yeahh..."  She grins at me.

I wasn't a virgin much longer.

And laying in the sheets with Dani, i couldn't imagine it any other way. I didn't want to. She was completely perfect. I had my head on her shoulder, admiring my love. Her breast were small, and held tight agianst her with a sports bra, she had an athletic body, trim and tight, her abs were obvious. Her skin is a tinted brown, like she might be part indian or something, her mild accent could tell me where she's from but it's not prominent enough to be able to decode it quite yet. I don't know why i don't just ask her, but at this moment, i don't want to ruin anything.

And for a while after that, nothing was ruined. I was insanely jealous of everyone. Anyone that even looked at Dani, i was jealous of. It was stupid but i was. But Dani and i were practically inseperable. Unless i was at work or in class. At work she would pop in sometimes, with a flower for me or chinesse, and she would sit on my counter and chat long enought to get me through the rest of my shift. At school we would bump into each other ranomly. I passed her studio on the way to several of my classes and i would peek in on her. I loved watching her dance. It was street, she would stand facing the class, sweat pants bagged over spanks, tight sports bra, her skin slightly sweaty, and when she danced you could see her muscles and how they moved to support her everyturn. She was amazing to just watch.. i'd do it for 20 minutes at a time before i would even notice that i was late for class. And on occasion, she would catch me, and tell her 'class' to practice, and her and i would hide in a supply closent and do all the things that make life worth living.

Dani didn't have a job. But she always had money. And i didn't ask where it came from. I don't know what i thought, i knew her parents weren't in her life. Any time i would even mention them, her brows would furrow and she'd get tense and avoid the subject. So i stopped bringing it up.

Life was a blissful cloud until it became all to real all to fast with our first major fight.

We had had arguements before, tiny cute ones that would leave us tickling each other and kissing. Then my mother showed up for a suprise visit one morning. I had been in the shower, Dani answered the door. Our cloths were still strewn around from our morning fun. My bliss was cut short by my mothers shrill voice screaming "Jen, honey, hurry up please."

When i got out Dani was sipping coffee at the kitchen table and my mother was sitting on the couch. I was dripping wet, covered only by a towl due to the shock of my mother. Dani looks up from her coffee with a grin. "Jen this is certainly no was to appear in front of your guest.." My mother sounds nervous. She sees the signs, she's just hoping that i will do something to make all of the signs wrong in the next five minutes. I just walk into my room and pull on some cloths. When i get out Dani was gone. My mother still looks nervous. "So Jen.. You're making a lot of new friends i see.." "Where'd Dani go?" i ask stright forward. "Your friend? She said she had a class to be to. She seems.... nice. " Leave it to my mother to turn something so perfect and beautiful into something nice. I chat with her for a while, waiting desperately for her to leave. I want to talk to Dani.

After missing my classes finally i have to tell my mother i have to work and to call before she stops in next time. I go to work, waiting eagerly for Dani to show up, but she doesn't. When i get home at 11 p.m. she isn't there either. Around One she shows up, i can smell the liquor, but she's holding her ground, not falling down and such, she's not a messy drunk, and definently not a lightweight. "There you are i've been waiting for you all night." "So'd you tell her?" Her words are slightly slurred but she's direct as she always is. "Tell who what?"

"Your mother."

Oh. I get it.

"Dani..."

Even as i say her name i know i've screwed up. I want her to be proud of me, for her to not be ashamed to show that i'm hers, yet her i am ashamed to say that she's mine.

Dani just nods and turns and walks away, out the door.

I can't move, even as she does all this i just stay, hammered in place. I can't even yell for her. i just fall to the ground and start crying the secound the door slams. I cry and cry, i don't think i had ever cried like that. My chest feels like it's going to cave in, it throbs with every beat. My face is on fire and the hot tears aren't helping a bit. I cry and think of what Dani's doing. Of who she's doing it with. And i cry harder, i cry until i fall asleep in a ball on my couch, wrapped in Dani's sweater, waiting for her to come back to me.

Just like i am now.