West of Words (Alec Lightwood)

🗝 Chapter Twenty-Five 🗝

There is a stab of pain, though Varian could not tell where from.

His heart, or his head.

His baba  sent the two Shadowhunters away with a wave of his hand and a forming portal. They muttered apologies as they went through, but Varian couldn't concentrate on their words.

"He's gone." Varian's voice was soft, and his eyes full of tears. An arm appeared on his shoulders, pulling him to his baba's  chest. Another flash of pain, and Varian was sure that it was in his head, rather than his heart.

"He told you then." His baba's  voice was thick with emotion, and Varian nodded, knowing what he meant without needing to ask what was told. "It'll take time, but he made the right choice in you."

The idea of his baba  thinking the same as Ragnor gave him confidence, and Varian smiled despite the tears. The story of Elizabeth Crawley and Ragnor Fell filled his head once again, and looking down at the face of Ragnor he realized why he told the story.

It was advice, and Varian was suddenly encouraged.

His baba  stood, taking Varian to his feet, and moving him to a chair. Varian tried to avoid looking at the pale face of Ragnor, but it couldn't be avoided. His baba  started to perform a spell, but Varian interrupted, placing a hand on his baba's  arm and looking up at him softly.

"Ragnor Fell," Varian's voice was soft, and he stood, lilac purple flowing from his hands. "May you find your place among the stars, and-" Varian's voice broke.

Tears poured down his face, a sob wracked his small frame, but he stood firm. His shoulders lifted, and he took a deep breath.

"I will do everything to be worthy of the magic of you." It was the truth, though he had already been reassured by both his baba  and Ragnor himself that he was worthy enough. "Pulchra ut constellatio."

Ragnor Fell's body dissipated on the final syllable, and both Varian and his baba  watched as his body became stardust before them.

It was the final barrier for Varian's tears, and he fell to his knees as sobs destroyed his body. He could barely feel the arms of his baba  wrapping around him, holding him close as they both cried.

Varian felt the surge of magic once again, and a ripple passed over him.

He never expected everything to happen so quickly.

Varian thought, three years, four years, hell even ten before Ragnor would be gone from this world, but there was less then a day that they had spent together, and Varian was a Warlock.

"You've already begun to change." His baba's  voice was light, a hand brushed over his son's head, through his hair, just like he had done whenever Varian had a nightmare and crawled into bed with him. "It suits you."

There was a moment of silence, Varian dried his tears, and leaned away from his baba  his hands coming to rest on the floor behind him.

"What were you three doing here?" Varian finally asked. "Maybe I can help."

"Ragnor-" His baba's  voice broke, and he shook his head before continuing. "He had The Book of the White. Or at least something that could help us find it. But now-"

He trailed off, and Varian looked up suddenly. "I can find it, I've got Ragnor's magic, and pieces of his memories. I'll call his books to my flat and take a look, but I-"

Varian knew what needed to be done without really having to think about it. There was some semblance of a memory that he never went through appearing in his minds eye. He smiled to himself, a piece of Ragnor Fell for Varian to always have.

"You should go." His baba's  words startled Varian, and he looked up confused. "Take a portal to the Institute, speak your mind to Alec."

Varian shook his head firmly, wanting to speak but his baba  beat him to it.

"You'll regret it if you don't."

There was truth to that, and Varian nodded, taking that opportunity to stand and take both Ragnor and his baba's  advice. "Fine then."

"And no argument, what a surprise." The sarcasm was thick in Magnus' voice, and Varian shook his head in near-annoyance. There was an undertone of sadness as Varian started to leave the room, but he stopped, turning to his baba.

"I'm not dressed for a wedding." It was Varian's last attempt at not going to the wedding.

Magnus shook his head, and with a wave of his hand Varian freshened up. His pullover and sweatpants changed into a nice fitted suit, with a dark blue button up. Varian sighed, his baba  knew him so well, the dark blue of the shirt set well with the emerald green of his eyes.

"Well then." Varian muttered in a dejected way, "You'll send everything to my flat?"

His baba  nodded, waving for Varian to go on, his voice firm and dismissive. "Of course, now go on or you'll be late."

Varian turned once again, feeling the eyes of his baba  as he wanted to take a step forward. "What if he doesn't like me? What if the changes-"

His baba's  voice interrupted his ramblings. "What if- what if- what if. What if the world ends tomorrow? What if the sky falls and fire rains down? You'll never forgive yourself if you let him marry Lydia Branwell without at least trying."

Varian hated the way his baba  seemed so good at speaking the truth, but he nodded, muttering a 'thank you' and finally stepping from the room. He pulled at the cuffs of his suit, twisted the ring that sat on his finger, nervous beyond belief, but hurrying from the house. With a wave of his hand a spiraling portal appeared, and Varian stepped through.

With the Institute in mind, he landed on the other side with a bend in his knees and anxiety in his heart.

Varian was able to convince the Shadowhunter at the front door to let him in, he claimed to be a Shadowhunter from Alicante invited by the Lightwoods, and with a flash of a smile and a wave of his hands he was through.

Every step Varian took towards the wedding party was another pang of fear in his heart, but he didn't falter.

"A rune on the hand, a rune on the heart." The echoing voice of a Silent Brother echoed painfully through Varian's head but he ignored it.

The door was shut firmly, as if someone knew he was coming, but Varian ignored the interruption, shoving it open with a flourish of his magic.

He stepped onto the Isle, and the room delved into whispers and protests.

But all Varian could see was Alec; beautiful, handsome Alec in a suit fitting a king.

Varian smiled, his voice a whisper as he spoke. He pushed as much emotion into his name as he spoke.

"Alec."