West of Words (Alec Lightwood)

🗝 Chapter Thirty-Eight 🗝

The air surrounding Alec was a mirage of blue, greys, and oranges. Sadness, confusion, fascination.

The absence of red reassured Varian to continue in rambling, not that he would necessarily be able to stop since he's already begun.

"When I was barely a year old, Jocelyn gave me up. My baba  says it's because I was showing signs of being different from the small age and she couldn't wipe it away or excuse it as easily as with Clarissa." Varian had seen a few of the memories that his baba  had wiped from Clarissa mind as she grew up, it was sad to see someone treated in an entirely opposite way that he had been. "Magnus raised me, he taught me to control the gifts that I had been born with, and when I was just six years old he made me a Secondhand Warlock."

Varian wanted to keep talking, the twisting of his hands in front of him had already started to glow, and he felt his heart racing in his chest. The unspoken question of what a Secondhand Warlock garnered a verbal response.

"It means that I, I share in my baba's, that is, Magnus' magic. Or I did." Varian sighed, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck. "By the angel it's so bloody complicated to explain."

"Try." It was the first word Alec had spoken since the beginning of Varian's explanation (i.e. ramblings) and it didn't sound angry. Just a simple statement to try and get a continued response.

Varian nodded, taking a deep breath. "Secondhand Warlocks are rare, especially ones from Shadowhunter families. They have to be chosen by their Warlock parent, but then also choose their Warlock parent. I had no one else other than my baba, and though I knew of my family because of his dislike in lying to me, I never wanted them."

Varian smiled to himself, remembering the conversation, the worry that his baba  had in loosing his son at any point in his life, the reassuring smile that Varian gave even for the tender age of six.

"I grew up learning magic, and how to use a various number of weapons, my baba  wanted me to feel protected no matter what. It was, quite the childhood." A happy one. "When I went to stay with Ragnor for a few days, he announced his want to make me his heir, and then he died," Varian's voice caught in his throat.

During everything that happened in the last few days, the almost-wedding, the kiss, having to see that damned Vampire again, Varian hadn't had time to mourn. Thinking of Ragnor broke his heart, but he pushed through, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"His magic went into me. It was why I was so tired the day of the, well your wedding." Varian forced a smile on his face, "I'm a Warlock now, full and strong and unsurprisingly powerful, Ragnor's father is, or was, a greater demon. Only Magnus is sure who, I was never privy to that information."

It was silent again.

Alec was in the process of understanding all that Varian had said, and Varian couldn't be sure what was worst. The waiting, or the feeling of getting everything off of his chest.

Alec stood, and Varian took an accidental step back. An emotion flashed through Alec, to quick for Varian to catch what it was. The Shadowhunter held his hands up, palm down, slowly reaching for Varian.

Varian felt a strange sort of comfort in the way that Alec would not touch him without his permission. He took a step closer to the Shadowhunter, a small movement that gave Alec the chance to close the distance.

Alec's arms were warm and firm as he wrapped them around the smaller man, his face ducked into the mans hair, as he held him tightly.

"Thank you for telling me." The words brought an untold amount of comfort to Varian, and he felt himself relax into the arms of the man in front of him. His hands moved to Alec's waist, hooking together on his lower back, Varian's face pushed into his chest.

"You're not mad at me?" Varian's voice was muffled as he spoke into his shirt, feeling like a child as Alec held him.

Alec pulled back, lifting Varian's head to look at him, a smile on his face and a calm look in his eyes. "Never."

Varian smiled brightly, a bout of confidence brought him to stand on his toes and grab the taller man by the back of his neck, pulling him down and kissing his lips. For just a moment, Varian had the upper hand in the kiss, but when Alec's hands moved to Varian's waist, his fingers brushing along the inch of exposed skin. Varian shuddered, dropping back to flat feet, his lips disconnecting from Alec's.

"Bloody hell I'll never get use to that." Varian muttered, his eyes half shut and he smiled.

Alec laughed, a deep chuckle that made Varian blush a deeper red. It was gone quickly, and Varian looked up at him, silently question the absence of laughter from the man.

"I just have one question." Alec muttered, his right hand reaching up to brush the side of Varian's face, delving into the curly hair and lightly touching the horns. As soon as his fingers brushed the horns, he smiled. "Maybe two."

Varian nodded, ready for whatever questions that would come.

"You said your m-, that Jocelyn Fairchild," The correction was well appreciated, "Gave you up to Magnus, you said you had gifts that she couldn't explain away."

Alec wanted to know what they were, and Varian had no wish or want to not tell him. "Well darling, you've already seen one in action." Varian smiled, stepping just out of Alec's arms and moving to sit on the ground, his legs curled underneath him, his hands still in Alec's. "When my baba  and the rest brought Luke Garroway to my flat, it was because of the healing magic that I have."

Varian's hands started to glow, the same emerald green as before. "I used it on you as well, when the Forsaken attacked the Institute." It felt like ages ago.

Alec's fingers brushed along Varian's, watching as the emerald bowed out of his way as he passed through it. "Where did it come from?"

"I'm not sure. I've just be able to do it." Varian closed his hands into fists, the emerald disappeared without a sound. "Baba  and I did research, with Ragnor's help, but it came to nothing."

Varian lifted his eyes, smiling as Alec looked at him with an astonished look in his eyes. "What else?"

There was a child-like amount of excitement coming off in droves from Alec, and Varian couldn't hide his excitement. He smiled, nodding just as excitedly. "Heavenly Fire."

The way that Alec looked up at him, the brightness of his eyes, the curiosity in the way his nose wiggled when he blinked. "What?"

"I can create and control Heavenly Fire. Here." Varian took both of Alec's hands in his, moving them to cup together inside Varian's. He took a deep breath, ready for the amount of energy he would need to put into the action.

The fire appeared slowly, floating in an unsteady ball above Alec's hands. The man flinched, trying to pull his hands away, visibly worried that he would be burned. He stopped when Varian's hands tightened around his.

"It's not hot." Alec muttered in surprise.

It disappeared with a crackle, and Varian felt very light and dazed. It was too much energy spent to astonish the man. "I don't use it a lot." Varian's voice shook despite his attempts to hold it steady. "It steals to much energy."

Alec hummed as a reply.

"And there's only one other thing," Varian smiled. "I can see peoples emotions, and I get very overwhelmed easily."

Alec squinted, "See?"

Varian lifted his hand, letting it brush the air just around Alec. "Colors in the airs around people, you're mainly yellow right now, a soft sunflower yellow. It means you're happy in this moment."

Varian couldn't be sure what to expect after the reveal of Alec's happiness, but he did not expect the man to reach forward and grab him by the cheeks, planting a firm and happy kiss on his lips.

"You're brilliant."

Varian blushed from the compliment, letting Alec kiss him again. Everything melted away, the reveals of the past few hours, the fear that Varian had felt in sharing everything.

It was just him and Alec, perfectly molded together.