Paul and Dawn: First Light

Chapter 49C- Stars

Note- This chapter happens right after the 49/49B.

Chapter 49C- Stars

Dawn 

Why does everything have to be so complicated now? I thought angrily for the hundredth time since I'd tried to fall asleep tonight. My eyebrows scrunched down as I pulled the sleeping bag up to my chin, wishing I could disappear inside it. Wishing all the weird Butterfree that flew inside me would go away. Wishing that everything would just go back to normal because whatever this aching feeling that I had around Paul was too much to handle. 

I didn't want that at first. Paul had been slowly warming up to me. I could tell. He smiled more now. Talked more. He wasn't Ash Ketchum who talked all the time about absolutely everything and who told me every dream, every happy or sad thought he had, but that was fine with me. I didn't want Paul to be anyone else anyway, though I knew everyone else felt differently. 

I scowled and my expression softened as sadness melted my anger. I knew Paul would hate that I felt bad for him, but I did. I grew up without my dad because of his addictions and Paul had been forced to grow up without his dad because of his parents' divorce. I was glad my parents had never fought in front of me (my mom had made sure of that) and my dad was gone so often that I never really had to see all the problems. Paul? Well, he'd told me about some of his parents' fights that he'd witnessed in that calm, blunt way of his, but I'd seen the coldness return to his eyes during the retellings. It caused him a lot of pain still, even if he didn't admit it to me.  

He pushed away all the hurt when it came to his past. And, till now, it seemed like he'd pushed away everyone who'd tried to be friends with him. 

I sighed. But were we friends now? 

Memories of time spent with him resurfaced in my mind. Paul telling me that the Contest rose was from him. His fingers gently tracing my skin as he rubbed lotion onto my wrist from where my splint made it itchy. How nice it felt waking up cuddled against him. For such a cold person, he was very warm. 

If only other people could see it. 

Refusing to let my thoughts go over what it'd felt like for Paul to be on top of me and the how close his eyes had been for the millionth time, I rolled onto my back in my sleeping bag, glancing over at Paul's unmoving form. He was facing the other way and I couldn't tell if he was asleep or not. No matter what, he was good at being still. Sighing, I looked up at the stars, frowning in concentration as I tried to find constellations. Brock had pointed some out to me before, but I couldn't remember any.  

Still, I let my arms slip out of my sleeping bag and lifted my hands towards the sky, imagining I could arrange the stars, connect them how I wanted, and reshape the constellations into recognizable shapes that I could call my own. 

This one can be a Piplup, I mused, drawing two circles, the flippers, and tiny feet. I had to create some of my own stars for it to work, but it was still fun.  

After Piplup, I drew each of my other Pokemon in the sky, awed by how easily my eyes could imagine the images being real. In fascination, I drew myself (badly, I have to admit) and with a bit of hesitation, I began attempting to outline Paul in the stars. 

I took more time on his drawing. Yes, it was invisible, but as I drew him it helped me remember exactly what he looked like. Who he'd been as a person and who he was now. How I'd felt about him when I'd first met him compared to today. The differences were huge and yet we both looked the same when it came to what was on the outside.  

Had it really only been a few months since we started traveling together? It felt like it'd been so much longer, even if I still didn't know Paul that well. Still, he acted so much differently around me. It was like he'd evolved like a Pokemon. I smiled at how weird, yet true, that seemed and continued drawing Paul in the sky, adding a light smile to his face that I'd come to know so well instead of his normal frown.