YUNGBLUD fluff one-shots

tired

tw: vent writing, depression, minor s31f 4arm (hitting head) it all gets better in the end tho

" hytg5rh nm yu7hhhhhyjh" i smashed my forehead against my keyboard and let out a groan. my head had been aching lately and i havent had good sleep in weeks. my eyes hurt and my stomach was bloated, layers of eyeliner were caked onto my face, i put it on again and again, making my decomposing corpse vibes look almost  purposeful. "bgvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv" I smashed, finally lifting head up again only to fall back in my chair, sinking to the floor. 

 i sat on the carpet, my head lolling back against the seat. Mercury jumped off my bed, padded over to me, and sat on my lap. silently, i began to cry. a fat tear rolled off my chin and onto my chest. Dom yelled from the kitchen, "IM ORDERING PIZZA LOVE, WHAT DO YOU WANT". 

His voice snapped me back down to earth and i called back "uh just whatever your having." 

 "Just one large sausage and pepperoni pizza please, and some bbq chicken bites." he finished the order "Alright, thanks". i heard him walk down the hall and knock on my open door. in an uncharastically quiet voice, he said, "Hey hon, how are you doing?" he came up and sat criss cross next to me. "you didn't sound right..." he trailed off when he saw my red eyes and my wet cheeks. "Talk to me." he stood up and extended his hand to help me up off the floor, "lets go sit on the bed." i looked up into his sympathetic eyes and another tear rolled down my face. I grabbed his hand and he took me to my bed, i leaned against the wall and he sat in front on me, taking my hands into his. "Whats up?" 

I broke down. 

"Im stupid. Im stupid im stupid. im stupid and fat and useless and ugly and im always tired and im a freak and im weak and dependant and STUPID." it all came tumbling out. every insecurity, every single little bit of self hatred poured out of my mouth and soaked the sheets with my loathing. 

I looked up at Dom through blurry eyes and saw that he too had begun to cry. "no no nonono im so sorry dom, i shouldn't have put this all on you," I stood up and backed away. "stupid stupid stupid" I muttered, hitting myself in the temple. "Dom im so sorry, you can leave ill be ok," im plastered a smile onto my face and stood up straight, wiping my eyes and sniffing. Dom looked so hurt. "Beck. I am never going to leave you. I am never, ever going to let you sit in wallow in your own hatred, i know you too well. you can't do that, so im here for you." He stood up and wrapped his arms around my neck, "You are beautiful and kind and independant and helpful, you are hurting but you are so strong. and above all else, you are smart. you are so incredibly smart, you're getting your fucking p.h.d. in criminal psychology Becks, and your only 21! Love, you are incredible." he pulled away from the hug and took my face in my hands. 

"this is a weird time of life love, but were getting through this together, i know you miss Sofia, and Elliott and Mia, i know you miss your mums. i know you miss going thrifting in the musty goodwill, i know you miss campus and your professors. but you don't have to miss me." he looked into my pale eyes and hugged me again. "I need you to talk to me. I don't want to lose you." he whispered. "Now, you're going to take a nap. Because your tired. and that's not good for you." 

he turned and pulled down my sheets. i sat down and pulled off my socks i curled up into a ball and Dom pulled the covers over my body. he kissed me on the forehead and went to turn off the light. just as he was about to close the door, i whispered, "Dont go" without a moment's hesitation, he came back into my room, lay down in bed and pulled me to his chest. he nuzzled his chin into my greasy hair and i faded into sleep.