May

Fourteen

"That is why you are such a good fighter. Baby look at me, you are amazing, you know that, exceptional, extraordinary. Be you, I support you, I just don't want you to die in these matches." He says the last part with a bit of a chuckle.

"My match is this Friday." My mom doesn't know and I would like it to stay that way.

"I will be there." He says as a matter of fact.

"You sure, a lot of people there don't like you?" Looking into his eyes and licking my bottom lip like I always do when I am nervous.

"Why would I do that, because people don't like me?" He smiles. "I know that there is more but I won't push you for more, I have my questions but if you don't want to answer me that is okay."

"I really want to tell you everything but I am scared." I really do, so much but I can't, my insecurities are in the way.

"Tell me what you can." I wonder if he has treated some other girl like this?

"Only if you will tell me things about you." It's only fair.

"Okay. When did you start street fighting?"

"When I was fourteen. How did you get involved in gangs?" He turns his face towards the wall and I see his jaw flex.

"I was about fifteen, I walked in on some people and they thought I heard something I shouldn't have and they couldn't kill me so they made me a part of their gang. Why did you start street fighting?" That is not all and he knows that I know that.

"My mom needed money, I was an angry teenager so add those two together and magic, streetfighter." I lie, is not a complete lie but it is not exactly the entire truth.

"So we are honestly going to sit here and lie to each other's faces?" He asks with a chuckle.

"I guess so, maybe we should just wait for the right time. We will keep guessing until then but that is where trust comes in, right?"

"Yeah, every great relationship is built on trust." He says.

"Although, answer this for me truthfully, do you have kids?" I feel like he does.

"Yeah, I have a little girl." I am not that shocked, he is a twenty five year old gangster.

"Where is she?" Curiosity.

"Her mother does not know that I know. I found out by accident and I have not met her. I tried calling her mother but she won't answer the phone and she won't open the door when I knock." He shrugs.

"That's sad, do you know her name?" It seems like the only thing he is willing to talk about it his daughter.

"Yeah, Amari, she is three year old." She is a baby.

"I though you were going to say something like seven year old." I laugh. I see the longing in his eyes.

"I want her to know that she has her dad to count on. I don't want to be a dead-beat dad." I feel for him.

"Don't worry, things always work out. Do you think that you would be able to take care of a three year old baby, while you are a gang leader who is almost never home?" I know I'm making him feel bad but he needs to understand.

"No." He sags his head.

"Exactly. You need to stop being a workaholic. Create your life in such a way that the universe can give you your child so that you can take care of her." I believe that you prepare for your blessings, you never know when they may come.

"As a gang leader it's my job to lead and be there." He says.

"Get a second in command. Someone you trust that will look out for the gang while you raise your daughter." I am acting like I am pregnant or something.