I sigh a million times. At least. But it doesn't lead anywhere. The air gets colder and I feel my body colling down.
I should move.
Right, when I want to stand up my phone starts vibrating. Who is calling me this late?
I pull my phone from my pocket and look at the screen. Fuck. It's Thomas. He noticed my absence. For a moment I can't do anything.
My mind starts racing. Should I answer? I am not ready to talk to him. I will start crying again. Then, should I run? My apartment isn't that far. But then I have to lie to him and I don't want to do that. I could just pretend everything's fine. Yeah as if that would help.
I throw my head back, look at the sky, and pray for a sign. What sign I have no idea. After I take a deep breath I take the call.
"Koda?", I hear his shaking voice and have to smile. I just can't help it. He is worried about me.
"Yes, I am here", I breathe into my phone.
"Where is here?", he wants to know. I can hear that he is trying hard to whisper. For a second, I play with the idea to just tell him I had to go back to my apartment but the words don't come out.
"On the rooftop", I say instead.
"I am coming up", he announces. I hear a door open.
"Bring jackets or a blanket", I say quickly before he disconnects the call.
And then I wait. I close my eyes for a while. The call made me happy. He decided for me. I don't have to decide. It's a relief. Then why am I shaking? I am sure it isn't from the cold. I try to get it under control but no chance.
It doesn't take long for Thomas to walk up to the roof. He scanned the roof in a hurry his breath going fast. I think I can see his breath clouding up. Maybe it is just my imagination. When his eyes fall onto me he rushes over immediately.
"You took the key so you weren't running away", he says while he passes me a big warm sweater. I put it on before answering.
"No, I was not running away. Had a call with my dad and didn't want to disturb you."
"Everything okay with your dad?", he asks and sits down beside me. I guess I sounded sad. Maybe he can see that I cried. Although it is probably too dark for him to see that.
"Yeah, he is fine."
"Are you?", he asks. His concern is overwhelming. I can't. What if he hates me? I couldn't live without him. I swallow my tears, grab the blanket he got for us and stretch it over us.
"Honestly I don't know. I ...", my voice cracks. He pulls me between his legs and wraps his arm around me. I clear throat. "I need to tell you something but I am scared", I admit distracting myself by tugging the blanket to fit both of us under it. "Scared of you leaving me", I whisper and stop moving.
"I could never leave you", he assures me while playing with my hair. Oh, how accurate he is.
"That's the problem", I chuckle. It hurts.
"Huh?" His hands stop massaging my scalp.
"What if that was true? What if you could never leave me?", I ask carefully.
"Why would I want to?"
"Not the point. What if you ... you would die if you leave me?", I ask almost crying again. I can't bear the thought.
"What are you talking about?"
"Just please don't hate me", I whisper out loud and hide my face in my hands. I don't want him to see my eye filling with tears.
YOU ARE READING
Sensuality
General Fiction#book2 | Koda is still not sure if telling Thomas his secret was a good idea. His other half backs away again, but Koda refuses to break down. Again. Now that his two best friends know about him being an incubus, a being of pleasure, they can suppor...
