Stop Crying Your Heart Out - McLennon AU

13.

15th April, 1963

"Paul, why do you care about me so much?"

Paul was caught of guard by that.

"W-What?" He asked, looking confused. "Why do I care?" The man repeated the question.

"Yes. It's like... Like whenever I hurt, you hurt... And then I snap at you. Just like when Stu died." He stared intensely at the table. "And I hate snapping at you, but I also hate you feeling so sorry for me. I hate it when you go all sympathetic on me because when that happens, I can see that it isn't just me hurtin', it's you too..."

"...And I hate hurtin' you."

"John, I hurt because you're my best friend. We grew up together... And I can't help hurting with you. We've done almost everything together... We were even in that little band together, remember that?"

"Aye." John nodded, slowly looking up. "I am so sorry for snappin'... But I just hate people feeling like that for me. Then again, if you were feeling like this, then I'd probably be hurtin' for you too." He admitted, sighing.

"John. Tell me how you want me to treat you... Just tell me and I'll treat you like that."

"Treat me like you did before all of this happened. Like you did when we were in the band." He suggested, looking relieved when Paul nodded. "Oh God... I'm actin' really selfish. I've got all these people around me who do care and I keep pushin' them away."

"It's okay to push people away, John."

"Not almost every day for a week it isn't." He sighed. "I haven't seen George for like 3 weeks... I only saw Ringo because he turned up when I was placing flowers on- on her..."

"Well, why don't we all go out one day? We can bring Julian too?" Paul suggested.

Paul knew that John needed to just get out again. If the man wanted to be treated exactly like he was before all of this, then the best place to start would definitely be to do something productive with his friends.

"Where?" Paul smiled at the boy's new eagerness.

"I don't know. Anywhere you want, Johnny boy."

And John smiled at those words. A genuine smile... One that Paul hadn't seen in what felt like forever.

"Johnny boy...?" He smiled, repeating Paul's words.

"Yeah. Haven't heard that in a while, have you?" Paul laughed.

"No..." The smile remained on John's face as he went to take a sip from his now cooled down coffee.

At that point, Paul's only goal was to keep the smile on John's face. He looked down to the baby in his arms who was still drinking the milk staring straight up at Paul. It was like Julian knew his plan and agreed with him.

"Hey, remember that one time in high-school where George's dad bead that teacher up."

"Oh, aye." He said, clearly trying to re-think the memory. "Oh god, got 'im right on the vein didn't he?"

"Yeah. The guy was a massive prick though."

John smirked. "Not like you to go callin' teachers is it?" They both laughed, Paul understanding his plan was working. "And that time when we got high in the bathrooms and the headteacher walked in to have a piss and we legged it into one tiny stall?"

"Oh Christ!" Paul laughed at that memory.

"And those skinny legs of yours almost made you lose your balance and topple ontop of George."

"Oh yeah. You looked like you were gonna murder me." He teased.

"Nah, could never murder you." John shrugged, the smiled still on his face. "Besides, I wouldn't have Julian if I was inside would I?"

"No. And I definitely wouldn't be holding him right now." They smiled, looking down at the baby once again, before Julian kept spitting the milk out. "I think he's done..."

"Show us." Paul held the milk bottle up for John to see.

"Right good. Give us it here." John grabbed the baby bag, taking the bottle from Paul and putting it in the bag. "Do you want me to take him or?"

"No, he's alright with me, aren't you Jules?" He saw John nod, reaching into the bag once more.

"Give him this." John took out a light grey elephant, which Paul stared at.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Just the shop near mine." John shrugged. "He loves it."

And John was right. The baby stared up at the elephant, wriggling around in Paul's arms. Paul placed the teddy on Julian's chest, reaching over to finally drink his drink.

"Is it hard?"

"Hm?"

"Y'know... Being a father. Like an actual Dad?"

"Yeah, I mean you saw how rough I looked the other day. I hardly sleep either for him wakin' up or worryin' about him waking up. But I love it too, because even though it's hard work, he's my little baby. And I love him so much."

Paul nodded, looking down to the baby who was now asleep.

"H-He's asleep?"

"What?"

"I don't know... I-I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry, it's not your fault." John smiled. "To be honest... I'm a bit surprised myself. I mean he not only likes you holdin' him or feedin' him, he now also likes to fall asleep on you?"

"I don't know why..."

"You have some talent, Paul. I'll tell you that."