In the Spring of 1963, Cynthia Lennon gives birth to a beautiful baby boy. However, things don't go to plan, as complications during the delivery go wrong, causing Cynthia to loose her life.
John is left alone with Julian, feeling empty inside, and...
"Just take a seat, John." Astrid smiled, pushing the wooden door open and holding it for him. "Is this little Julian?"
"Yeah, he was two weeks old yesterday."
"He's adorable." She spoke, peering into the pram as she turned to close the door.
John took Julian out of the pram and pushed it to the side, taking a seat at the desk, waiting anxiously for Astrid to sit down.
"I'm sorry my desk is such a mess... I've had a lot of shit to get through in the last week, spent most of it in the photography room. My vision is like 65% red at this point." John laughed at that.
"You were always into your photos weren't you?" He smiled.
"Yeah." She nodded. "Infact, I was going to send this to you at some point this week, but I never had time... But as you're here, I'll give it you now."
"What is it?" John asked, eyes fixed on the woman's hand as she opened the draw beneath her desk.
"I took these photos back when you 5 all had that band. I think Pete is in some of them too, but I was going to send them to you because I thought you'd need something like that to cheer you up."
"Oh my god... Do you really have those photos still?"
"Yeah, I've had them for ages now. Me and Stu looked through them a while back." She brought out a small folder, and carefully passed it to John. "You don't have to open them if they make you sad, but they're there if you want to."
He nodded, staring at the folder intensely. A part of him was telling him that he shouldn't open it, that he wouldn't be able to handle all of the emotions they may bring back, but there was a bigger part of him that was curious.
He had to see what was inside.
His shaky hands pulled out the first photo, a smile on his face as he saw it. He remembered the day so well.
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They had been hanging out near a funfair, and when there was nobody looking, they jumped on top of the car that carried the fair rides, and Astrid took a few photos.
"This was the fair day, yeah?" He smiled fondly.
"Mhm."
"Look at my hair..."
"Look at your hair in the next one."
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"Oh fuckin' Christ!" He whisper yelled. "Look at George and Paul too..."
Paul.
"I know." She smiled.
The next one made John's eyes soften, he felt like crying at it, but he just couldn't.
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"Oh..." Was all he could say, as he let his hands gently brush over Stuart's figure.
The room was silent for a few seconds, before John found his voice again.
"Does... Does it get easier, Astrid?" He asked, not looking away from the photo.
"It depends..." She sighed, knowing what he was talking about right away. "If you get on with things, sort of like a distraction, then yes, but if you just sit around and feel sorry for yourself then no."
He nodded at that response.
"Do you... Do you think it's okay to move on?"
"Move on as in find somebody new?"
"Yes..."
"If it's what you feel is best for you, then yes."
"If I find someone else, Astrid..." He placed the photo faced up on the table, hand resting on top of it as he stared up into her eyes. "Does that make me a bad person?"
"Oh, John... Not at all." She placed her hand on top of his. "Why? Is there someone else?"
"I don't know... My mind is just everywhere at the moment." He sighed, looking back down. "But I just feel like if I do move on, Julian will grow up to hate me."
John looked down to the baby, his other hand caressing his cheek slowly.
"John, he's your little boy. He won't hate you for being with somebody else?" She reassured him, hand carefully squeezing his. "Like I said before, you can't just sit around and feel sorry for yourself for the rest of time."
"Do you ever think you'll move on?"
"Maybe. But not just yet... I just busy myself with work instead, you know? I love my job."
"Yeah." He nodded. "Are there anymore in there?" John asked after a few seconds, pointing to the folder now on top of the table.
"I think there's one more, I'm not sure... Some are at my house ready to send to Paul when I have time, too."
John's head turned back to look at her at those words.
"Paul?"
"Yeah, some of the photos are of him and Stu or him and George." John nodded, picking the folder back up.
There was one more in the folder.
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"Oh yeah. That one's not from the band times. But I found it and I thought you'd like it." She smiled, looking down at the image.
John was glad she wasn't staring at him this time, because if she was, he feared that she may have realised that John talking about Paul just a few seconds before. The emotion in his eyes said it all.
I need to speak to Paul...
"Do- Do you want me to take them to Paul's for you?" He asked, trying not to sound desperate.
