Stop Crying Your Heart Out - McLennon AU

38.

(A/N- There's probably going to be a few more chapters of this book. I've really, really loved writing this book... I love wholesome McLennon. Anyway, I just wanted to warn you 😌❤️.)

4th May, 1963

Paul, John and Julian were all in the kitchen.

The two men had both just finished their dinner, but were still sat around the table. John was on Julian's knee, being bobbed up and down.

He seemed to be enjoying it, a smile on the very almost a month old baby's face.

"C'mon, laugh for us Jules!" Paul whined, taking a sip of his lemonade.

"I know what'll make the kid laugh." John spoke, clearly having a lightbulb moment.

"What?"

"So under the table in the living room, there's a rattle that George got him, and a light grey elephant underneath."

"Mhm?" The younger man spoke, slowly standing up.

"Bring the elephant in here. I haven't shown it to him in a while and I have an idea."

"Alright..." Paul responded, clearly suspicious about John's 'idea'.

But he moved anyway. Seeing Julian laugh would just brighten up the man's entire night, and John's too.

He opened the door to the living room, heading towards the table in the middle and reaching underneath. It was dusty, but the elephant and the rattle were both underneath. He made a mental note to use that with Julian very soon.

"Here it is."

"Cheers, Macca." The older accepted the toy, passing Julian over to Paul. "Okay, hold him."

"Okay...?"

John made sure the small elephant was tight between his hands, and grinned at Julian. When the baby wasn't expecting it, he nuzzled the stuffed toy against his face, making a light 'rawr noise'.

But the baby didn't laugh, he just looked confused. Paul began to laugh.

"Hmm... Didn't seem to work, Johnny." He smirked.

"Give over you." John spoke back, playfully.

And when Paul wasn't expecting it, John pressed the stuffed toy up to his face too.

"Awrrrrrrh!"

"Hey!" Paul chuckled, trying to get rid of the fur his mouth.

"Atleast it made someone laugh."

"Well, as happy as it'd make me to see this little boy here laugh, I'm just so incredibly happy that my other little boy is happy." He spoke sweetly.

That was true.

3 weeks ago it seemed like Paul would never see John this happy again. And if he ever did, it wouldn't be for a long time. But here they both were only a few short weeks after, which felt like a lifetime, trying to make their almost one month old baby laugh.

"I'm so proud of you, Johnny." He smiled, raising a hand to cup John's face, gently.

"Thank you for putting up with me. You know, at one point I thought that was it... That I'd driven you away when I yelled at you. And then when I kissed you, I thought I'd truly lost you." John barely whispered, eyes beginning to water. "And I just don't think I could have handled losing someone else. Especially not the man who has always meant so much to me. Always."

"I'd never leave you, Johnny." Paul reassured him. "Infact, I thought I'd lost you at one point. And I don't think I could have handled that either."

"It's like we're too magnets that are connected, and if one of them was taken away, then the other would just constantly be looking for it. Looking to draw it back in so they can be together. And maybe... For the last few years, I'd been connected to the wrong magnet. Even if at the time it felt right with that magnet, we should have never been connected..."

"Woah... My amazin' skills at teachin' poetry must really be rubbing off on you." The younger man laughed, eyes also tearing up. He smiled when John laughed slightly.

"Paul?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Cynthia will hate me?" John asked, the same look on his face as that night when he kissed him for the first time. The look of horror and guilt, but he also looked like he needed an answer. Just like how he needed that kiss.

"Oh John. Of course not. She'll be happy to know that you're not spendin' your days moping about anymore. That you're gettin' out, moving on."

"Yeah but it sort of feels like..." He sighed. "Like- I don't know. As if I've been cheatin' on her."

"You haven't been cheating on anyone. If anyone was cheating it- it was me, on Jane."

"Yeah, but looking back on when me and Cyn were together, it all just feels... Wrong?" John put his head in his hands, tears running down his face. "Like I should have only been doing that with you. And it kills me. Because I can't even admit that to Cyn, as she's not here anymore."

"John. If she loved you, then she'd understand. Whether she's here in person, or if she's passed on."

But John couldn't say anything in reply to that. Instead he just sobbed and nodded into his hands. With a sad sigh, Paul looked down to Julian, noticing how he was sleeping.

"C'mon, Johnny. Let's go and cuddle in the livin' room so this one can sleep, yeah?"

A broken "Mhm" fell from his lips, following Paul into the room with his head hung low.