Priorities: A Spider-Man Wrong Number Fic

Milestone

Mr Prioritony
You're kind of smart right

Peter
:o
You texted first!!!!!
I'm gonna screenshot this and put it in my scrapbook
And you complimented me a little!!!!
Also yes I've been told I'm relatively intelligent 🤓

Mr Prioritony
I wouldn't be surprised if you actually had a scrapbook
I need an idea
My idiotic coworker did something stupid and I need to get him back

Peter
Of course I actually have a scrapbook!
It has a picture of the raccoon I met in the alleyway right before he attacked me when the flash scared him
Can I ask what the coworker did?

Mr Prioritony
The birdbrain used glitter glue to attach all of my tools and coffee machines to the ceiling
He then proceeded to hide all of my ways to get them down from the ceiling so that they would randomly fall and hit me on the head
I got a concussion from my Keurig

Peter
Give me a minute
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Ok I'm done laughing and I have an idea
What if you make some kind of remote controlled magnet device and attach anything of his made of metal to it?
Then you can use the remote to move it just a little out of his reach so that he has to chase it around like an idiot
I did it to my friend Ned and he ignored me for an hour
That's an accomplishment for him

Mr Prioritony
First of all- that's a good idea and I will be taking credit for it if asked
Second of all- you have friends?

Peter
Aww :( but I like- nevermind you can have credit I don't like attention
And I have three friends thank you very much!

Mr Prioritony
I need proof of I'm gonna believe that
You literally spammed my phone with bad memes at five in the morning yesterday

Peter
:o THOSE WERE GREAT MEMES
My friends names are Ned and MJ thank you very much

Mr Prioritony
You said three
Oh god please don't tell me the third one is the raccoon

Peter
The third one is you
Unless you don't wanna be my friend which is totally fine because I get that I'm really nerdy and weird oh man I shouldn't have asked it's ok if you block me because I understand why you wouldn't like me ok bye I'm gonna go die now

Mr Prioritony
KID!!!
You're my friend too