Priorities: A Spider-Man Wrong Number Fic

Oh, You're the Idiot

Prioritony
Hey Peter

Peter
*narrows eyes* you aren't Mr Prioritony

Prioritony
How did you figure it out that fast??????

Peter
Mr Prioritony never calls me Peter, he only ever calls me kid
I have a theory that using something besides my name is a coping mechanism of sorts that allows him to emotionally distance himself from those who wish to get closer to him because he is scared of being hurt
*shrugs* but what do I know I'm not a psychologist

???
...you scare me
But on another note, I know you are just bursting with curiosity on how I stole Mr pepperoni's phone, so I shall now regal you with the tale
He was in his lab, like usual, so I waited until he was using the fire tool thingy before I jumped out of my hiding spot in the vents. He then proceeded to set his project on fire and he got mad that I ruined whatever he was doing by scaring him. He had to leave the room so he wouldn't permanently injure me, then I stole his phone, and here we are!

Peter
...
...
...
...wow
Okay first- it's Mr Prioritony
Second- you're the idiot aren't you

???
I mean I've been called that before but I feel like you have a specific incident in mind

Peter
Mr Prioritony was talking about an idiotic coworker the other day so I assumed it was you

???
Oh yeah that's me
Did he call me birdbrain at some point in the conversation

Peter
I think so

???
Yep that's me then
Oh fiddlesticks he's coming back but here's my number I wanna know why he's talking to you bye Peter
***-****-****

Peter
Bye Mr Idiot Man!!!